That's What She Said

I'm not really establishing myself as a member of the Burlington community. It's much harder to make friends then you would think. I also think it's harder to make friends when you're not engaged in a social setting like school, where you're constantly meeting people of the same age. Let's face it, most of the people at work are older than me and not interested in going to shows or watching cartoons. I actually feel like I've touched upon this in a previous entry. So where am I left to make friends? The answer seems to be simple; go to local hardcore shows. I've met a few cool people in this community, but its very evident that we live different lives. I'm not in school anymore, I have to work every day of the week. A lot of these kids don't, because well they either never went to school or are just taking forever to finish. But there is another side of the scene that is just as pretentious and vain as everybody else. There is definitely a fashion sense that I don't have.I don't wear super tight pants and plaid button up shirts everyday. I also happen to enjoy my pea coat. At times the hardcore scene is as much of a trend as anything else. If you want to be cool, you have to do the windmill dance at shows and hit people in the face. Well fuck that.

And there's just the simple fact trying to enter a social circle, where everyone has known each other for years is going to be hard no matter where you go. But I feel like I have gone above and beyond to reach out to these kids. Especially the kids in Unrestrained. I feel like I always have to initiate a "hang out time." Nobody ever calls me up and says "hey we thought you'd like to come bowling with us," or something lame like that. Maybe this is an indication that I'm the friend that nobody likes. You know those people. Nobody hates them. They just suck and they're not as fun as all your other friends.

So life is at a standstill. I feel like I've had enough time to make a few meaningful relationships, but I haven't. My best friends still live in Rutland or other towns down south. The atmosphere in Burlington is just so much different. Everybody is so materialistic. I just don't care about cool winter outfits or hippie hats. I just want to put on some pants, a t-shirt and jump into the pit (or jump on the stage). The only thing that is keeping me here is my job and the fact that there are other jobs available in the area and the fact that hardcore/punk shows do happen on a weekly basis. There are no asshole neighbors or arrogant self-righteous cops trying to fuck with kids and their creative urges. Shows happen. People stage dive. I've already seen bands play here from as far away as Germany and British Colombia. There are no venues in Rutland and if you do happen to rent a space out, it doesn't last too long. Usually some rich motherfucker with a loud mouth will put an end to it.

So Burlington is a double-edged sword. I can't stand the artsy fartsy hippies or the colleges douche bags who drink keystone light like water, but I love the shows and I love what happens with them, even if there are a few lame kids who just show up to look cool. I guess there are worse places to show up. For example, a military recruiting office.

So yeah, meeting girls. That doesn't happen at all. If I just happen to bump into somebody and have a good conversation, they usually end up disappearing forever or they just simply ignore me if I suggest we hang out. Either that or they think I'm too weird to begin with. Besides fighting for civil rights isn't very attractive I guess. Maybe everybody is right. You have to be an a badass to get girls to like you. Well I refuse to compromise my identity for anybody, so I'm probably going to be lonely for some time.

Yeah this was a depressing post. Sorry! Hopefully I'll be doing another music review soon.