More To Life Than Shopping?

I'm starting to have mixed feelings about this city. There's too many over-privileged, materialist sorority girls wasting Daddy's money. Ok, so that is a quick judgement, but the percentage of that population greatly outweighs any other. Yeah it is true. There are a lot of hot girls in Burlington, but they're all the same and none of them have a personality. I'm sure not all of them are like that, but I've had more than enough encounters, that make me cringe. Theres also too many abercrombie wearin, kswiss wearing frat boys with backwards hats and a strange liking towards daft punk and 50 cent. I try to go into everything with an open mind, but its hard to when you repeatedly find yourself feeling alienated.

Don't get me wrong. Burlington has a lot of opportunity and there are a lot of good people, but even for me those people seem out of reach. First off, I can really relate to everyone at work, but 1) I'm the only heterosexual working there, which means no flirting of any kind and 2) most of them are a great deal older than me and don't relate to a lot of the eccentric parts of my personality, i.e. starting mosh pits and watching Ren & Stimpy. Its difficulty to be yourself and stick to your principles when you're the only one like that. So being a complete individual is a double-edged sword: you like that there are parts about that are unique and maybe even awkward, but you also want to have conversations with people and relate. Here in Burlington, I'm stuck between the young materialistic, frat partying, druggie crowd and the older crowd that I share a lot of views with, but am too young for their tastes.

So this brings me to the question of the day. Where are all the hardcore kids? I guess they're not hanging around downtown after all, but thats where most of the shows happen. I never see any of them outside of 242 or the spectrum. Every once in a while, I'll see somebody sporting a Bane shirt in the distance, but they usually dissapear before I can catch up. That, or they're from Montreal and I feel to ashamed to approach someone who's speaking french. I can't believe I fell into all that hype in college about Spanish being the second most popular language in the world, because now I keep running into people from Quebec. Its weird how things turn out. My roommate Mike is a really cool, laid-back person, but we don't see eye to eye on many things. Theres nothing wrong with that, but I just wish I could talk to someone about Black Flag. I know its not fair to judge people based on their musical preferences, but the who hardcore/punk scene has been such an integral part of my life.

I never see the guys from Unrestrained walking around here. I know they're all from Burlington, so where the fuck are they? I guess they're playing in Williston on tuesday and I got directions to the venue from their guitarist, so maybe I'll finally be able to connect with somebody there. Maybe. Sometimes the hardcore scene can be just as elitist and secular as everybody else. And for me, its a little weird, because I'm not straight edge and a lot of kids take that seriously. But like I've said in the past, that lifestyle should be a personal revolution that is for yourself and your body. Its not supposed to be a trend. Than it contradicts itself. This is why I get weary of edge pride and all those kind of communities. This scene is supposed to be about tolerance and compassion for individuality. Nothing but benevolence and an open mind. Thats what punk has always been to me. Unfortunately for some, its just about having cool clothes and body piercings.

Regardless of anything I say, I'm feeling lonely. I miss some of the Rutland kids. Maybe the special thing about Rutland is that because it was such a shitty town, we had to work harder to make a difference and make the most out of our lives. That kind involvement brings more camraderie and action and less sulking in our reveries; currently something I'm doing. I just really hope that I connect with people my age real soon and have stuff to talk about, because I can't depend on work to make me feel good all the time.

I Need Coffee

The show this past weekend in Rutland was a lot of fun, considering the weak reception locally. I put up hundreds of flyers and it was all over myspace, yet only about 20-30 people came and I'm including the bands as well. I was really glad that After The Fall came and made the best of it. I was really embarassed when they showed up. I had the feeling they were going to think the show was a total joke. Thankfully, they were really down to earth, kind and put on a great show. They seemed to understand what its like to deal with unmotivated and jaded kids these days. I can't say the same for their hometown though. Albany has the biggest fucking pile-ups at shows. People there will tackle you down for the mic. Weight of the World played acoustically. It was ok. I should practice singing more though. Troy's daughter kept dancing in front of us and distracting me. She was so cute. The Jonee Earthquake Band was great as usual. Dianna scored some really rare LP from them thats out of print. Good for her.

Mike Weins came to the show and filmed the whole thing. It later turned out that the sound from the footage was rather "un-audible," and requires a liking to the sound of paper crinkling. Thats too bad. Maybe he could just put an mp3 of one of the bands songs over the video footage? YOU'RE THE FUCKING FILMMAKER MIKE! He's also a consistent blog author that comes close to archiving his daily life. I wish I could say the same about Torches and Tragedies. Check out flumage. The ATF 7" is pretty cool. I got orange vinyl. The band on the b-side, Transitions is a lot different. They seem inspired by the like of Bane, Have Heart and Comeback Kid. A heavier version of hardcore. However, they play in a standard tuning. I also think I was the only one who knew the words to the Kid Dyanmite cover they did, which by the way was "Showoff." Their new LP, "Fort Orange," comes out sometime at the end of summer. Check them out at www.myspace.com/afterthefall518.

So last night I had the oppportunity to hang out with my friend Miriah, who used to go to Castleton. She goes to Champlain College now and lives right on Buell Street, which is only a few block from here. I hung out with her and her roommates Erica and Eliza at Dobra Te, where we sampled some exquisite asian teas and sat indian style for two hours straight in front of a small table only ten centimeters off the ground. It was a lot of fun and I nearly spilled hot water all over everyone. She then showed me her apartment, which is AMAZING. Its looks so comfy and cozy. I really don't think I ever want her to come over to Maple Street, this place is embarassig compared to her place. So at their place we made lemonade with tequila and proceeded to make atrocious animal sounds out the window to unsuspecting passerbyers.

Later on, Eliza decides to go to a house party, so the rest of us go to Radio Bean instead, to get some brews (well Erica and I anyways...Miriah is still a little baby). We see a bunch of hippies play lame ass folk and spoken word and I drink Allagash White. I almost fell asleep too. But to be perfectly honest, the fact that there is actually a night life on a monday night in Burlington, really speaks lengths at how awesome this town is. The last performance of the night was the crazy dude that looked like Van Morrison and played blues rock, with the most spastic stage moves I've ever seen. That guy was fucking crazy. He definitely thought it was still the lat sixties, meaning he was on acid. I couldn't stop laughing. He even played the guitar with his tongue!

Other news: Mike and I are planning a new film. It will be part of his senior project at Castleton. Ok thats it. No leaks.

I wish work went by quicker than the time I have back at my place. Welcome to the real life Matt.

Is It Time For A Break Yet?

This past week was a whirlwind of events. For the most part, everything was family oriented and two opposite ends of the spectrum: the start of a new life and the end of another. Wednesday, I attend my Grandfather's funeral in Brandon. It was depressing and anomalous for our family. Nobody really knew what to say to each other. My Grandmother was especially offbeat, meaning she didn't seem to grieve at all. She didn't even sit up front at the funeral home. I don't think its hit her yet at all. She didn't cry once. Its quite the disarray.

So next, I have to move to Burlington. Its astonishing how it all went down, or up I should say. I had to work all day last thursday and then somehow move in after. This required the bovine character of my mother who was happy to drive a ton of my shit up just as I left work. Apparently my sister and her boyfriend Jess helped her get my mattress, desk, trunk and assortment of other awakward objects into the back of my Dad's pick-up truck. I can't believe my sister actually did something charitable for once. The move was smooth once my mom arrived with everything. My roommate Mike was really cool and helped me carry nearly everything up. So the first night was weird. I was sleeping in a place that I could call my own home and it wasn't in Rutland. So weird.

So friday, I got up early and set-up a bank account at the Opportunities Credit Union on North Aven. I get free checks, debit card and the opportunity to be a member of a financial cooperative. But thats actually boring, so I'll move on. So then I go home to Rutland (so soon!) and get ready for my cousin's wedding in Mystic, CT. The night was dull at home. I sat around, pet Sizzle and tried to finish reading 1984.

I wake up Saturday at an astonishingly reasonable time of 7:30 AM and begin to pack into the family car to hit the road. It was a shitty ride. What can I say. Who enjoys being packed into an internal-combustion vehicle with three of closest family members? To be completely honest, the party that night in Mystic Harbor was way better than the actualy wedding ceremony the following day. I got super drunk and the best part about it was the open bar. The worst part was the clam bake, so I had the innovative vegetarian meal of bread, coleslaw, carrots and tons of beer. The cruise in Mystic Harbor before the clam bake was really cool though. Great sunset on the open sea. Oh and when I mean clam bake, I didn't mean that my whole family toked up. But that would be pretty cool.

So the wedding ceremony the next day was gnarly as fuck. Actually it fucking sucked. I really didn't enjoy hearing the pastor say that marriage was created by God. As far as I knew, it was a social institution created by people and legitimized through the state. Weddings can be religious, but they weren't invented by God. Oh well, they can believe whatever they want. The ceremony took place right in front of the water in ninety degree weather. I was drenched in sweat and maybe piss. However, my own Gods relinquished my spirit with another joyess open bar full of tastey ale and gin. Later on the reception moved inside to air-conditioning, where I was treated to a portabello mushroom burger and champagne. I even got my dancing shoes on! You should've seen me!

So now I'm back in Burlington and to be completely honest, there is never a break. Now its time to go back to work and get the gays in the county fairs around the state. It should all be an interesting experience. Now lets just see if I can learn how to grocery shop in time for...

MY BELLY!

Strength Through Non-Violence

I've really disturbed by the amount of acquaintances whom I've suddenly learned commiserate with the death penalty. Considering the recent discovery of a 12-year old girl's body who had been murdered through a shocking network of sex rings, I can empathize with the anger and grief people must feel, but I cannot support further violence. When in the entire history of humanity has more violence brought everlasting peace and utopia? Never.

The death penalty, like organized warfare is legitimized state violence that is no better than the unsettling actions committed by the original architect of the crime. To me, it is simple; supporting the death penalty only shows that violence is the answer to solving the most shocking troubles in our society. Kiling more people and building more prisons is a stagnant solution. We are not biting at the core of the issue, which is the deep and hateful seeds of violence, misogyny, objectification, sexism and power that is so omnipresent in our cultural institutions, mainly mass media and entertainment. In a country where over two million of its citizens are in prison and others are murdered for their cimes, I think there is something fundamentally wrong with the way we interact towards each other. Death and imprisonment are not solutions, but oppression. If the death penalty is supposed to be effective, wouldn't people not be committing heinous crimes? And what about the mentally unstable? Are they recieving the care they need, so that they won't lash out violently? Probably not.

I am completely exhausted. I've spent the past week getting last minute recruits to march in Independence Day parades with VT Freedom to Marry and the past three days marching in parades and hosting informational booths in various locations. Its challenging to keep the spirit up when you've only been getting five hours of sleep. I need at least eight. Its been fun working with Sheryl though. Her husband Chris is really cool too. He plays drums and gets along with transvestites. This morning I got a call from a kid who was looking for a roommate on Maple St. just as I was preparing to march in the Brandon parade. I got the room! FUCKING FINALLY. This driving back and forth was starting drive me insane, not to mention the serious price gouging of fossil fuels in the country right now. I'm moving in next thursday apparently. Its a great place. Only a couple blocks from the Church St. marketplace and the RU12 building. Awesome.

On a sad note, my Grandfather died on friday. He had been battling serious illness for the past few months and had been hospotlaized for the past few weeks. I guess he did too much abuse to himself over the years. Too much drinking and smoking. I'm going to miss him. He was always really happy to see me when I came over to their house in Leicester. I have fond memories of the cows he used to have and how one time he took a picture of me in front of one and I just happened to place my head right in front of the cow's head so it looked like I had cow ears. Priceless. I think he wanted me to do that actually. It sure was funny. I just hope my Grandma is doing ok. I havn't talked to her since the last time I visted them in the hospital. Grandpa really hated the hospital. Too sterile for a former farmer and handyman. He really wasn't doing good the past week or so. He was saying alot crazy things and obcessing over mistakes of the past. A few times he didn't even know where he was and seemed to lose all sense of reality. I hope he died peacefully.

I've felt kind of lonely lately. Hopefully that'll change in Burlington. I need to hang out with some heterosexual girls. Everybody I've been around lately is a lesbian or married heterosexual woman. Thats not bad. I just want to flirt I guess.