Fuck You Mother Nature!!!!

While I find winter astonishing in it's appearance, I'm reluctant to applaud it's unfortunate side effects; mainly it's effects on travel and commerce. Weight of the World had two shows this weekend, one on Friday night and one on Sunday night. These shows happened to coincide with the most snowfall we've received thus far. While I definitely want to avoid a car accident and meeting my premature death, it is frustrating to have to sit at home snowed in when you could be rocking the fuck out. Those two shows (in Bristol, VT and Kingston, NY) was the only thing I thought about all week at work. So here's a big middle finger to snow in general. I also want to mention that digging your car out of snow three times in just four days fucking sucks.

Unfortunately, Bruce our drummer didn't get the message about the show on Friday being cancelled. By the time I actually got a hold of him, he was already on the road from Rutland and only twenty minutes from Bristol. To be quite honest, I can't believe he even considered venturing out to begin with. The roads were fucking horrible. Even the drive through downtown Burlington for me was sketchy enough. Bruce is a trooper alright. So he ended up just coming to Burlington and hanging out with me for the weekend. We didn't do a whole lot exciting, unless you want to count hanging out at Muddy Waters and drinking coffee and buying pants at the mall exciting. At least we got to check out that new organic pizza place called Bite Me. The girl who took our order was stunningly beautiful. Oh yeah and Bruce also volunteered for Vermont Freedom to Marry at the Palace 9 movie theater where they were showing Milk again. Mikey X showed up too. We had a great time being three heterosexual males working for a gay rights organization.

So its the Holiday season and I have not bought a single thing for anybody. I think that's pretty cool. The whole thing is way to vetted in materialism and shallow promises of community and family. It's all bullshit. We should all just get together and be happy that we made it through another year. Oh wait, that's New Year's eve.....ummm......Santa is a nazi.

I put the order in for the Weight of the World 7"s last Thursday. I really hope they got the package I sent them. I'm going to call United Records Pressing tomorrow to make sure they got the whole bundle. So the plan is to have 300 copies of our 7" vinyl EP. They will be available on three separate colors; red, green and clear. There will also be three black test pressings sent to me before the rest of the batch is made. The total cost of this was a whopping $777. And that is JUST the actual records. Jess and I have been working on a cover for the nifty piece of wax and we're going to make the sleeves ourselves with card-stock and get them printed up at Kinko's or something. That's probably going to cost me a pretty penny as well. The records will all be hand-assembled and numbered by ourselves. Besides, this is fucking hardcore. Isn't that the way it's supposed to be? I'm hoping we'll have the 7" ready for a release party in late February. I just booked a show for February 21st at 242 Main in Burlington. The show will also feature The Stereo State and Maker (two amazing Western Massachusetts Pop-Punk bands). I hope all goes according to plan.

I'm so tired right now. My nights go by way too fast. I lose my health insurance in nine days. The girl I like isn't over her ex. Things could be worse, but I'm fucking grateful to be alive and grateful for my family who cares so much about me. But seriously I need a girlfriend...

New Weight of the World Songs!

We just finished up recording 4 brand new songs for a 7" release due out next year. Check out the songs and let me know what you think! We worked our fucking asses of on these tracks! Click on the link at the bottom right ===>

-Matt

I Resist

So this past Friday, I had the honorable pleasure of getting head-butted in the face. While watching Rough Francis at 242 Main, a rather annoying kid next to me was moshing in a very violent and disrespectful manner, when suddenly he thrust forward and knocked this kid over in front of me. The kid who got knocked over, turned around stared me straight in the eye and then proceeded to knock his head right into my face. I wouldn't say it was a very rewarding experience, considering I didn't even touch the fucker. So my friends Mikey X and Connor who saw what happened, immediately approached the kid and told him to get the fuck out. He tried to say he was sorry to me, but I just flipped him off. I was actually more depressed that a fellow human being would go to such lengths, simply because they were knocked over. I mean, it was a punk show. Stuff is bound to happen. Hell, I've been hurled into a stack of drum equipment before, but it was a complete accident. So if this kid was accidentally knocked over, would he still turn around and commit intentional violence towards someone? I just think thats so fucked up. I hope I never see that kid again. There's no place for violence or intimidation in hardcore. The whole incident was depressing to me, that I went home and probably cried for an hour straight. It sucked. I eventually moshed to the new Gaining Ground 7" though in my room, so I felt better.

So things get worse. I wake up on Saturday morning and hope on to the good and wholesome social networking site called Myspace and learn that the hardcore community has lost a monumental and wonderful individual. There was a bulletin post from Ryan in Outbreak, where he explained that him and his buddies over at Think Fast! Records wanted to sign Last Lights. He ended the post by saying that unfortunately their singer Dominic Mallory had tragically passed away only 48 hours after talking to the band about setting a deal with the label. Apparently Dominic suffered a hemorrhage during a performance that eventually spread to his brain and killed him. My fucking jaw dropped when I saw this. Last Lights had just performed at 242 Main back in September with Defeater and I Rise. I remember Dominic, even though we weren't friends. Bruce and I were standing off to the side of the stage, when the singer leaped off the stage grabbed my shirt and yelled a few lines in my face. I was ecstatic, needless to say. He poured every ounce of energy he had into his performance and lived the hardcore life everyday. I was so impressed with their performance, that after buying their 7" I did a review of it on this blog. It's still on here. You should read it.

So if you haven't heard Last Lights and the cathartic vocals of Dominic Mallory, please visit them at: http://www.myspace.com/lastlights.

There's also a 7" compilation called "Mass. vs. Cali," that features awesome bands like The Effort and Rotting Out. All of the proceeds from the record will go to Dominic's family. Go pick one up at:
http://heartinhandrex.bigcartel.com.

So did anything good happen this weekend? Thankfully, yes. On Sunday, Weight of the World went to Madcow Productions in Essex Junction, VT, to begin work on four brand new songs. I'm happy to say that we completed all the music for all four songs. Bruce and Nick did all the drum and guitar tracks in 5 hours. Most of that time, however, was Nick doing his overdubs. You know how guitarists are, they got to be all fancy and show off! Haha. I pretty much sat around all day, until it was time for me to do the bass and then I tracked all the parts in under 40 minutes. It was a piece of cake. We'll be going back in this coming Saturday to do the vocals, with Connor who has just recently come on board. He's got a lot of energy and he's pretty pissed off, so it should be sweet. Anyways, even just the basic unmixed music is pretty fucking awesome. It sounds so crisp, clear and heavy. We'll be slapping these four songs on some delicious vinyl goodness hopefully by sometime in January. We also got a show on Saturday night at 7 PM. Apparently we're playing at a purple pokka-dotted house at the top of Colchester Ave across from Fletcher Allen Hospital. Nobody seems to know the exact address. Oh well.

And seriously, nobody left comments on the No Love Lost review? You're missing out if you didn't check them out!

Music review #4: No Love Lost, Closure CDEP

No Love Lost: Closure CDEP

1. An Ode To Jack Gaffney
2. Never Look Back
3. 87 Mile Guilt Trip
4. Here It Comes
5. The Pros and Cons of Indoor Plumbing
6. One Life, One Fight

Self Released CDr

This review is especially easy for me, because I had the privilege to see No Love Lost perform at a basement show in Burlington, VT on November 22nd. Like many modern contemporary hardcore acts, their performance was heavy and uncompromising. There's no gimmicks and no bullshit when it comes to No Love Lost. Seeing them play is pure adrenaline, anger and desperation straight from the heart. There's also no tough-guy thuggery or petty drama that plagues so many scenes. Everything this band stands for is finding something positive for yourself and your friends amidst this fucked up world. The singer even spoke out against those in the hardcore scene who poke fun at others for not wearing the "right short" or doing the "right dance moves," stating that this behavior goes against everything hardcore stands for. Hearing that, reminded me why I got into hardcore in the first place. The band was also able to play at their full capacity of energy, despite the limited space in the basement. Because of this show, I think I actually like basement shows better now.

So how is their CD? Nothing short of amazing of course. These six tracks are a chalk full of floor-punching hardcore goodness. The influences are obvious, ranging from Have Heart, Verse, Comeback Kid and Bane, whilst retaining a unique quality that can only exist when it comes straight from the heart. They play what they want unapologetically and have a fun time doing it. Some people might call it generic, but they're not in this to be the cool kids who found something new. The lyrics are uplifting and inspiring, calling out for a positive, communal vibe and yearning to look ahead and let the past be the past. Other topics range from staying true to yourself in a world full of immense social pressures and the struggle of holding onto this throughout life.

From start to end, this CD never gives up. As soon as you think they're slowing down, they either jump into breakneck speed or hit you square in the face with some thick breakdowns. There is also quite a bit of underlying melody that makes the songs memorable, without becoming too cookie cutter. The production is top-notch for a band that is most likely functioning exclusively on their own funds.

The packaging of the disc gets the point across that this is a 6-song CD, but I really wish the CD itself had a label on it or was spray-painted or something. As a matter of fact, it didn't have anything written on it, so I wrote the band name on it when I got back from the show. A lyric sheet would've been cool too. Aside from that, the disc was a great purchase and I really hope my money got some food in their bellies and fuel back in their van for the long ride back to Buffalo, New York.

Check No Love Lost out at:
http://www.myspace.com/nolovelostny

Buy the "Closure" EP here:
http://nolovelost.bigcartel.com

That's What She Said

I'm not really establishing myself as a member of the Burlington community. It's much harder to make friends then you would think. I also think it's harder to make friends when you're not engaged in a social setting like school, where you're constantly meeting people of the same age. Let's face it, most of the people at work are older than me and not interested in going to shows or watching cartoons. I actually feel like I've touched upon this in a previous entry. So where am I left to make friends? The answer seems to be simple; go to local hardcore shows. I've met a few cool people in this community, but its very evident that we live different lives. I'm not in school anymore, I have to work every day of the week. A lot of these kids don't, because well they either never went to school or are just taking forever to finish. But there is another side of the scene that is just as pretentious and vain as everybody else. There is definitely a fashion sense that I don't have.I don't wear super tight pants and plaid button up shirts everyday. I also happen to enjoy my pea coat. At times the hardcore scene is as much of a trend as anything else. If you want to be cool, you have to do the windmill dance at shows and hit people in the face. Well fuck that.

And there's just the simple fact trying to enter a social circle, where everyone has known each other for years is going to be hard no matter where you go. But I feel like I have gone above and beyond to reach out to these kids. Especially the kids in Unrestrained. I feel like I always have to initiate a "hang out time." Nobody ever calls me up and says "hey we thought you'd like to come bowling with us," or something lame like that. Maybe this is an indication that I'm the friend that nobody likes. You know those people. Nobody hates them. They just suck and they're not as fun as all your other friends.

So life is at a standstill. I feel like I've had enough time to make a few meaningful relationships, but I haven't. My best friends still live in Rutland or other towns down south. The atmosphere in Burlington is just so much different. Everybody is so materialistic. I just don't care about cool winter outfits or hippie hats. I just want to put on some pants, a t-shirt and jump into the pit (or jump on the stage). The only thing that is keeping me here is my job and the fact that there are other jobs available in the area and the fact that hardcore/punk shows do happen on a weekly basis. There are no asshole neighbors or arrogant self-righteous cops trying to fuck with kids and their creative urges. Shows happen. People stage dive. I've already seen bands play here from as far away as Germany and British Colombia. There are no venues in Rutland and if you do happen to rent a space out, it doesn't last too long. Usually some rich motherfucker with a loud mouth will put an end to it.

So Burlington is a double-edged sword. I can't stand the artsy fartsy hippies or the colleges douche bags who drink keystone light like water, but I love the shows and I love what happens with them, even if there are a few lame kids who just show up to look cool. I guess there are worse places to show up. For example, a military recruiting office.

So yeah, meeting girls. That doesn't happen at all. If I just happen to bump into somebody and have a good conversation, they usually end up disappearing forever or they just simply ignore me if I suggest we hang out. Either that or they think I'm too weird to begin with. Besides fighting for civil rights isn't very attractive I guess. Maybe everybody is right. You have to be an a badass to get girls to like you. Well I refuse to compromise my identity for anybody, so I'm probably going to be lonely for some time.

Yeah this was a depressing post. Sorry! Hopefully I'll be doing another music review soon.

Why I'm Voting for Cynthia McKinney

Before anybody gets into any debates about me "throwing away" my vote, I'd like to remind people that there are actually six major candidates running for the president of the United States and all of them are on at leas more than 30 ballots across the country. If you don't believe me, then check out this link:

http://www.votesmart.org/election_president.php

Cynthia McKinney represents to me, someone who is through with two-party politics and the incestuous relationship it upholds with corporate America. First, off the Green Party (McKinney's party affiliation), does not accept any corporate donations, as they do not believe that wealthy corporations and their strong interested of profit have the right to influence a political process. I agree with this. Both John McCain and Barak Obama have recieved many donations from coroporations, including but not limited to private health insurance corporations, big oil, credit card companies and cell phone companies.

The biggest problem I have with Barak Obama is his advocation of ending the war in Iraq by only escalalting the war in Afghanistan. His first priorities in foreign policy are militarisitc, not diplomatic. It sends shivers down my spine, when he openly applauds Israel, which has maintained the longest illegal military occupation in history, of the palestinian land and treats the natives as less than human. The U.S. supplies Israel free of charge with a plethora of nuclear weapons and other military infrastructure and weapons. That scares me. Cynthis McKinney advocates a diplomatic, two state solution and withdrawal of Israeli forces from Palestinian land. Barak Obama also openly advocates military aggression in Iran. This baffles me. First off, of course Iran is enriching Uraniam. We are too! It's called nuclear energy. Many countries do it. We just like to use that as an excuse to invade countries that may serve our economic interest. As a matter of fact, the United States has enough nuclear armament to destroy the world several times over. Israel comes in close to 2nd.

Neither Barak Obama nor John McCain support single-payer national healthcare, which helps people in much of the first world to live longer and healthier lives, free of the worry of going in debt just because you fall ill. In the United States, our bodies are treated as commodities, and our health is at the bottom of the private sector's priorities. There are also many "pre-existing" medical conditions that health care companies refuse to fund treatment for, because they are simply to expensive and they wouldn't be reaping enormous profits anymore. In our country, our health is reduced to a corporation. Obama and McCain both recieved massive campaign contributions from these evil, profit mongereing entities that dare to call themselves "healthcare." Cynthia McKinnye supports dissolving the private exploitation of our bodies and creating a government funded program that would cover everybody's medical needs, regardless of income.

Barak Obama and John McCain both supported and voted for the disatrous tax-payer heist known as the Wall Street bailout. $700 million dollars of our tax payer money was simply washed down the drain to bailout those who are responsible for putting us in this dire economic situation that we're in right now. How is that not big government? Which makes me realize that John McCain is not really a conservative and that Obama is simply more interested in maintaing the status quo of the ruling elite. Cynthia McKinney voted against this measure and spoke out eloquently.

Obama and McCain also both voted to not hold the telecom industries who participated in George Bush's illegal wiretapping accountable for their criminal behavior. Both senators gave them a clean slate and everybody got away with it. Cynthia Mckinney voted against this measure.

Obam and McCain both voted for the patriot act, which has dissolved many of our fundamental rights as a citizens for the supposed interest of "national security." Next time you get questioned at the Canadian border about your laptop and the patrol is about to take it without probably cause, think about who voted for the law. Cynthia Mckinney voted against the patriot act.

Neither McCain nor Obama are willing to talk about our country's deep roots in worldwide oppression of democracy and corporate pillaging. There's a reason why we can certain fruits during the winter and it's mainly because our multinational companies cross borders and force indigenous poplulations to work at slave-wage labor for the sake of capital gain. How is this done? It's simple. The U.S. has supperted hundreds of dictatorial and murderous military governments throughout it's history. Whether it's through a proxy war, where we simply provide weapons and train people or through direct intervention, we've constantly oppressed independent nation's will to govern themselves. Just look at how many countries we've invaded since 1890:
http://academic.evergreen.edu/g/grossmaz/interventions.html

Cynthia Mckinney has acknowledged our shameful past and what we can do to fix it. Obama and McCain refuse to even admit the history.

And finally, what's all the talk about the fucking middle class? What about the working class and the poor? Doesn't everybody deserve a decent amount of financial security? When young families have to choose between medical care and food and proper clothing for the winter monts, I could care a less if there was one more colonial house down the street with white picket fences and an SUV. Fuck that.

Cynthia McKinney ackowledges the classist society that we live in and how a majority of our country's wealth is controlled by the smallest percentage of the rich. This is not a democracy. At best, it's a capitalistic monarchy.

I cannot believe the recent accusations of Obama being a socialist. He is SO FAR AWAY from advocating any socialist ideology. I literally fell on the floor laughing the first time I heard this. I can't imagine how the Socialist Party of the United States presidential candidate Brian Moore felt when he heard this. He probably wanted to shoot himself in the face.

Anyways, there are so many other reasons why I disagree with the two-party system, but I'm getting tired and I need to get up and vote tommorrow.

All I want to say, is that our vote should be hard to get. Never let any million dollar coporate news network (especially FOX), tell you your choices of candidates. Do some research. It's called google. You're not throwing away your vote if you feel the person is the most qualified for the job. It really is that simple.

Happy voting.

-Veg

You know what grinds my gears?

Seriously? UGGS? They're just asking to be called ugly, which is exactly what they are. Now I have absolutely no fashion sense whatsoever (nor could I give a flying fuck), but these shoes make people look like douche bags. I mean why would any girl want to have ewolk feet or chocolate brown poop logs on their legs? They look retarded. I don't care how comfortable or or warm they might be on a chilly evening on the church street marketplace: you look like a tool.
So first off girls, uggs are a huge turn-off. I don't care how intelligent, genuinely nice or charismatic you might be, because the footwear ruins what's left of you. And by the way, I'm not sure if these shoes were designed with the intention of being female footwear (I have not seen a single male wear uggs yet), but I'm willing to at least see what a guy looks like wearing them. Maybe you'll look like a viking, who knows?
I hate to generalize, but I have yet to see one girl who is NOT a stuck-up, materialistic, over-privileged, jock-dating poopstain who is wearing these vulgar statements of "cool." I don't know where these shoes came from all of a sudden, but they're sprouting up everywhere like weeds and we've got to eradicate the virus. So do your part and drop mustard on every pair of uggs you see.
Ok, so people may think I'm crazy because I'm freaking out over some lame trend, but Uggs have gone too far. They're turning a generation of stagnated, robotic clones into a generation that's even duller. Don't let the fashion fool you! Stop dating girls that wear Uggs!

(the contents of this blog are intended to be comical and if you're offended, than you probably own Uggs).

Awesome Show at 242 Main on Thursday!

So there are two bands staying at my place right now. One is from Holland, Netherlands and one is from New Jersey. They're playing 242 Main in Burlington on Thursday, but the promoter has been a total dipshit and has not posted any posters around town, which is probably why I had not heard of the show until my friend Mike from After The Fall told me they needed a place to stay. Anyways, here is the information for the show. Post on you blogs, listserves, myspace, facebook, message boards...anything!

Antillectual (Netherlands)
http://www.myspace.com/antillectual

One Win Choice (New Jersey)
http://www.myspace.com/onewinchoice

Young Denver (Burlington, VT)

Fighting Polygon Team (Brattleboro, VT)

7 PM. $8.

-Matt

Music Review #3: Shook Ones/End Of A Year 7"

Shook Ones/End Of A Year Split 7"

1. Raised By Woofs - Shook Ones
2. It's Not What You Think - Shook Ones
3. Asterisk - Shook Ones
4. Marked With A Crow's Foot - Shook Ones
5. Dan Cooper - End Of A Year

Runner Up Records

This is a very odd split. Shook Ones play four fast songs in under five minutes and End Of A Year play one very slow song that's well over five minutes long. These two bands couldn't be any less alike. Shook Ones play the kind of melodic hardcore reminiscent of Kid Dynamite and Lifetime, but with a touch of the Descendents. End Of A Year are a throwback to the mid 1980's revolution summer that spawned such bands as Rites of Spring, Embrace and later Fugazi. I'll admit, that I bought this 7" soley for the Shook Ones side, which as expected knocks me flat on my back. End Of A Year isn't exactly the kind of hardcore, punk or rock that gets my blood pumping, but I respect their decision to create music that is divergent to say the least.

Unlike Shook One's last split CD with melodic hardcore stalwarts Easel, from Japan, these four songs don't slow down for a minute. If you've heard the split CD with Easel, the first song "Order Form," is very mid-tempo, with cookie-cutter choruses, that will make any girl weep at the sight of these monstrous hardcore freaks. It was a welcoming departure, but its nice to see the band return to their signature brand of fast, snotty hardcore that comes very close to ripping off Lifetime. The first track, "Raised by Woofs," has a very catchy chord progression, coupled with the distinct raspy vocals of frontman Scotty. The second song, "It's Not What You Think," is a departure in the opposite direction for Shook Ones; lots of anger. As a matter of fact, I think this is the first song from them that sounds truly pissed. The vocals are screamed at first and slowly return to the more typical snotty brand of singing. However, the fast chorus dives headfirst into an angry, atonal breakdown, something Shook Ones is not known for. This is my favorite song on this 7." The next two songs, "Asterisk" and "Marked With A Crow's Foot," are equally enjoyable and more reminiscent of songs from their last full-length album, Facetious Folly Feat.

Like I said, End Of A Year is totally not my thing at all. As a matter of fact, their long and slow song killed it for me. It just completely destroyed the energy on Side A. If I was truly a fan of End Of A Year, I would have to pick a completely different day and mood to flip the record over and give them a spin. The music is very melancholy and laid-back. It might be good if you're tripping on acid in the summer time, but that's just me. It would actually fit very well in that scene in SLC Punk when they're tripping balls in the park. To their credit though, End Of A Year sticks out like a sore-thumb, which is a good think in the hardcore and punk scene, where things often become repetitive and uninspiring. I guess the only problem with this 7" is that neither bands are typical in their own respects. For examply, as much as I love Champion, their sound has been totally rehashed time and time again.

A note on the packaging. Runner Up Records really put this release together nicely. The sleeve is high quality and not just just silk-screened or some shitty paper. The vinyl itself is a beautiful, with one half clear and the other half cream green. It's really cool holding that sucker up to the light. Also, the hole in the 7" is a small one, which I prefer over the big holes, which usually means it runs at 45 rpms and not 33 (but that is not always the case either). Anyways, Runner Up Records did a great job with this release and you should support the bands and the label for the accomplishment.

Check out Shook Ones at:
http://www.myspace.com/shookones

Check out End Of A Year at:
http://www.myspace.com/endofayear

Buy the 7" at:
http://runneruprecords.bigcartel.com

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR????!!!!!!

-Veg

In Green Mountain Hell

Please check out a new underground music zine called "In Green Mountain Hell." The link is on the right. This is my friend Troy's attempt at creating a "conduit" for Vermont musicians, venues, labels, zines and other miscellaneous groups that feed the fire of the D.I.Y. community (he says you can also contact him if you're hitchiking and you need help). If you're in a band and you want to be listed on the zine, email Troy at cagelearner@hotmail.com.

For those of you who don't know, Troy has been playing guitar in a band with me called Weight Of The World. So please support the underground music scene in VT and read In Green Mountain Hell!

Coming soon...

I plan on doing a review of the Shook Ones/End Of A Year Split 7" when I get a nice solid hour to listen to whole thing several times. And speaking of music reviews and such, my friend David Jacobs and Nick Grandchamp do a punk zine out of Rutland called "Stuck In A Rut." Message him at http://www.myspace.com/slave99 to figure out how to get one. I think they're $2. I only gave him a $1 though, although I thoroughly enjoy my copy!

Weight Of The World is playing this saturday in Brookline, NH with a shitload of bands. Click on our link at the right if you want more details. I'm also working on getting more shows in Burlington and Canada. Word.

Free and fair elections? Give me a break.

I have become considerably distrubed by the amount of spin that the media and corporate politicians have put on the truth. Last night I saw a car sporting a "give peace a chance sticker," paired with a "Obama '08" sticker. The staunch hypocrisy of this bumper sticker couple is a frightening one indeed.
Senator Barak Obama would do anything but give peace a chance if he were elected to office. While I agree with his plan to withdraw troops from Iraq, I don't agree with expanding our bloated military budget to expand war in Afghanistan. That country is in ruins and perpetuators of violence are still at large. The only way to fix our eroding worldwide reputation is to particpate in a cooperative diplomatic case to bring terroists to trial. Senator Obama supports further violence.
The democratic incumbent is also a strong supporter of the death penalty, the patriot act, nuclear energy, the fradulent "war on drugs," immunity for telecom companies participating in illegal surveillance of citizens, the no child left behind act, and the most recent heist of taxpayer money to bail out corrupt wall street corporations. Senator Obam also opposes gay marriage, single-payer healthcare, the impeachment of George W. Bush and Dick Cheney, peaceful negotiations with Iran and is a strong supporter of Israeli apartheid over Palestine.
Why do U.S. citizens feel that Senator Obama will give peace a chance? I think a great deal of this confusion among the citizenry is the two-party system, the corporate-owned media and their lobbyists in congress. Mainstream politicians are governed by the interests of wall street and the political puppets in the white house. Every move is a career one and far from the interests of the American people, who overwhelmingly support withdrawal from the middle east, universal healthcare and a decent education. The media blackout of third-party candidates keeps the citizenry in the dark, making the American public feel like they need to vote for "the lesser of two evils," rather than with their beliefs and values.
There are many political parties that are committed to supporting a living wage, health for all, education for all, peaceful negotiation, ending poverty and bringing an end to genocide, like the current ethnic clensing in Darfur, Sudan. People don't vote for these candidates, because they are repeatedly denied participation in the electoral process. There was plenty of room on stage for the debate between John McCain and Barak Obama, to also include Green Party Candidate Cynthia McKinney, Independent Ralph Nader, and even Libertarian Candidate Bob Barr.
The American people are being fooled by the corporate-owned media, which prevents the United States from having free and fair elections. Please think about this before casting your vote.

I Fucking Love Montreal

I finally had my first good weekend since I've moved up to Burlington. This past Saturday, I went up with a bunch of friends to Montreal to celebrate my friend Ryan's birthday (singer of Unrestrained...which if you haven't checked out yet, then shame on you!). Also in the group was Phil, the bass player from Unrestrained, his girlfriend Annalise, Taylor, Nate, Tori, Mike (is playing drums in my new band) and this guy with huge gauged ear that everybody calls the Reverend. Even before we left Colchester I knew it would be a great trip when Ryan proudly stole a Vermont t-shirt from a gas station and claimed that he was so college.

First off, we didn't get through the border smoothly at all. After we gave the dude our passports, he questioned us intensely about our intentions to go into Canada. He even asked us if we had automatic weapons and cocain. I couldn't stop giggling. It was just so silly. So he took our passports and told us to pull around to the side and come into the border patrol office, where they made us wait for 15 minutes, until they gave us back our passports. They must have been doing background checks or something. Anyways, this was bugging the shit out of Ryan and Phil, because they had made reservations at this place in downtown Montreal to play group laser tag at 9:40 PM and we were still more than an hour aways and it was already past 8. Funny thing was, Nate was driving the other car with Tori, Mike and the Reverend right behind us and they went through just fine, which is weird, because Mike is fucking loud and obnoxious and Nate has huge dreads and looks like he deals marijuana.

So we finally pull into the city an hour and a half later and we have fucking 5 minutes to find a parking space and get to the laser tag place. Ryan kept calling them asking if they would wait five more minutes and they agreed, but even after we finally found a parking space and walked four blocks, we still showed up late, but thankfully another group had cancelled! Fucking luck was on our side that night.

Now onto laser tag. First off, I haven't played the game since I was in middle school and it was some lame ass set-up at Rutland High School and all the 7th graders got to ride up in a bus. Anyway, I got the horribly embarassing score of 88, which was the second to worst score out of the whole group (aside from Annalise, who got a 57, but I don't think she was really into the game). Apparently I only got 8 hits on anybody else throughout the whole game. However, the Vermont group annhiliated the local French Canadian group. I think that had something to with Ryan. He was acting like that fucking drill sgt. from Full Metal Jacket. Anyways, I did hit Nate 4 times, who for some reason was the only Vermonter on the French Canadian team (they had green blinking lights and we had red blinking lights). I think he was pissed, because his name in the game was Battle Axe and second of all I totally fucking suck, and he didn't get one hit on me. The actualy laser tag complex was fucking awesome. It was four floors high and had fucking smoke machines everywhere, so I felt like I was Metal gear solid. There were also flashing lights everywhere and all these sniper holes and shooting glitter. In a way, it reminded me of the Agro Crag from Global guts (does anybody remember that show?). I had such a good time. Mike was fucking crazy too. He kept leaping and making these diving shots at the Canadians (plus Nate).

So after laser tag, we slowly made our way down to Fouf's, which is this awesome Punk Rock bar/club. Ryan wanted everybody to get drunk on his birthday, which is funny because he's edge. The Reverend was edge too. Afterall, who would want to see a drunk priest (actually that would be fucking hilarious)? On the way down, we ran into my new friends from Montreal, Jess and Bex, who always come down to hardcore shows in Burlington. They are so cool. They even sat with the lame-ass vegans of the group, which consisted of me, Taylor and the Reverend. They have surprising plain English for living in the only french-speaking province in Canada. Now that I think of it, I've never seen Jess or Bex speaking french to each other. Maybe because it would alienate us dumbass Americans? Probably.

So Fouf's was really fucking rowdy and loud. The minute I walk in there, they're playing Rise Above by Black Flag. SWEET. I felt right at home until I realized how expensive beer is in Canada. Most of the good beer was near $5 or $6 a glass, so I had to settle for the shitty Molson Dry which was $2.50. And suprisingly, Budweiser was all the rage there, which I totally don't get it. Budweiser is the fucking Wal-Mart to the beer industry. They're a monopoly and they fuck over small breweries. It also tastes like mokey piss, which should stop you from supporting them. Anyways, Canadians seem to love the watered-down crap liquid. I've heard through the vine that Budweiser is the most popular import in London. Really? WTF.

Fouf's is surprisingly massive. Ther are three floors to the place, the 2nd and 3rd floord being smaller bars, with adjacent show spaces, that everybody was just dancing in, because there weren't any live bands that night. Thats a bummer. I would've loved to see some Canadian punk and hardcore. Anyways, the DJ just played a bunch of ska, which was kinda lame, but fun to dance to I guess. Actually Ryan started bumping and grinding every single person he saw, including this poor dude in the corner of the room was puking guts out. It was so funny to see al these meatheads try to do a circle pit to Sum 41. To be honest, it seemed like they were at a football practice. All of us just stood by and watched. Bex and Jess kept mocking them and did surprisingly better!

Eventually Bex and Jess got sick of the bar scene and said goodbye. They are officially my favorite Canadians. There was also this other girl named Lindsay from Montreal that showed up at the bar, but I didn't know her too well. She seemed infatuated with Phil and Ryan. A few times, I actually felt bad for Annalise, as I watched Lindsay jump on Phil's back, but yeah they were just being friends. So finally, me, Mike, Taylor, Phil and Nate were pretty drunk, so we all left and decided to cause a ruckus in the streets. It first started when we lost sight of Phil and all of a sudden he came out of nowhere holding a door. So Ryan grabbed it and took it to the nearest huge set of stairs, which happened to be a marble staircase in front of some government building, wher Ryan decided to surf down the staircase on the door. It was so fucking awesome to see him do that in the middle of big city in front of all these people. Next, we decided it was time block traffic. We found the massive street cones that were like four feet tall and when no cars were coming, we blocked off one end of St. Catherine Street and then ran behind some bushes to see what the line of cars would do. They all fucking took the left hand turn! Not a single person got out and moved a cone! SUCCESS! We did this several more times and were successful everytime. Serioulsy though. Where were all the Montreal cops? I never once heard even one siren come on in the distance. Must be all the wine shops and eclairs... That wasn't even the end of the tom-foolery. At one point, after I went to the bathroom at a subway, I cam back out onto the street find Mike, Ryan and Phil pushing a huge dumpster into the middle of the street. They started running away and told me to follow them. Yeah, those Unrestrained dudes are fucking crazy.

Eventually, it was almost 4 in the morning and we finally decided to leave to go back to the U.S. Nobody wanted Ryan to drive back, because apparently he says really dumb shit to the U.S. border patrol people....and he really did. When we finally got to the border and the guy asked us what we were doing in Canada, Ryan told him he were buying hookers with counterfeit money and fake credit cards. The guys looked at him really weird and confused. Then he asked what we had in the car and Ryan grrabbed my Snapple and told him I had crack tea. I freaked the shit out at first, but then started laughing when I realized the border patrol officer was really annoyed looking, probably because he was so tired. Then Ryan called Taylor an Oger. Finally the guy was sick of Ryan's shit and gave us back our passports. I really surprised he didn't make us pull over to the side and get out like the Canadian border patrol. So much for Homeland Security!

So we finally got back to Burlington at nearly 6 AM and I went right to bed and passed out and woke up at 2 PM. I had such a fucking good time in Montreal. I really hope they invite me on more trips like that.

Music Review #2: After The Fall/Transitions Split 7"

After The Fall/Transitions - Split 7"

1. Together We Can (Transitions)
2. Speechless
3. Within Reach
4. Escape (After The Fall)
5.It's Her Choice

Raise Your Fist Records 016

Two hardcore bands from Albany, NY offer five songs for this diverse split 7" , which in my mind shows there no confines based on style or execution in the D.I.Y. music scence. Transitions belts out three tracks of in your face hardcore with positive lyrics and heavy breakdowns, like Bane and Verse, while After The Fall contributes two songs of fast, cathchy hardcore punk with melodic vocals like Propagandhi and 88 Fingers Louie.

Transitions starts this record off with a sense of ponderous virulence slowly building up to a musical insurrection. The music is technically profficient in the sense that its rhythm is the driving force behind its intensity. These are seasoned musicians, that are dead on with each other, with the kind of musicianship that is second nature, yet not second to the lyrics, which as vague as they are, have a general sense of hope and aspiration to always be a better person. There is a serious lack of positive vibes coming out of the scene today, but these keep the unity call alive. These lyrics may have been inspired by personal moments, but they speak to a large audience. In "Together We Can," the band writes "When you fall, I will be right there. To help you back up. The sense of community that we have been striving for." Its so uplifting to hear band sing words like these.

Track two, "Speechless" deals with exactly what it says: a loss for words. There is also a self-awareness that says "but still I move on taking the less traveled path. I still can't find the words, the air escapes my lungs. Its almost as if actions are intuitive to people and almost impossible to describe at the same time. As a matter of fact, I think that is called a "gut reaction" I can definitely relate to that.

Track three, "Within Your Reach," is more of the motivational speech of their songs. The song tells us to "set your goals and follow them through. Don't give up, never back down." It really does seem generic, but they're also necessary subjects, amidst all the tough-guy thuggery and separatist behavior that can plague a scene.

Overall, Transitions sound angry, fast and heavy, but provide a positive outlook on life and the D.I.Y. music scene at large.

After The Fall have the same hardcore intensity as Transitions, but with a lot more melody and socially/politically conscious lyrics. Not to say that Transitions lyrics are not also political asethetically, but After The Fall touches on specific subjects such as the shameful jurisprudence of the United States and the attack on a woman's right to choose. Musically speaking, the songs are super fast, but with lots of vocal melody and a hefty fare of guitar octaves and intricate picking patterns and rhythms. I think their guitarist Mikey Moak was really inspired by "Potemkin City Limits," by Propagandhi. This influence is definitely visible in their opening track, "Escape," but fades away to a more angry, straight-forward type of hardcore in "It's her Choice, reminiscent of the earlier Transitions Tracks (although I believe ATF plays in E Flat as opposed to the standard tuning that Transitions stick with.

So lets check out the lyrics. In "Escape," the band says "Will you die alone and angry or escape their fucking plan? You'll find a better way of life. Unforgiving court system has left you with no other choice but to run and don't look back, you'll find a better way." I am pleased to see somebody bring up the topic of of our unjust and discriminatory judicial system, which does more to uphold poverty and racism than it does to protect our population. Its definitely not an easy thing to talk about, but ATF doesn't give a fuck, because the world and our human dignity is more important.

After The Fall doesn't rely on poetic verses and lyrical imagery to get a point across. In "It's Her Choice," they say "It's her body and it's her right so fuck off you old white bastards. Let women decide. Let women make the call." It doesn't get much better than that. They don't give a fuck about social constructions of masculinity and are not ashamed of their feminism. And if they were, then why the fuck would they be playing hardcore?

I believe these records are available in green, orange and black vinyl. Mine is orange and its labeled #125 out of 300. Yes, thats right. There are only 300 of these bad boys, so if you want a copy, head over to http://www.myspace.com/afterthefall518 or http://www.myspace.com/transitions518.

After the Fall is also playing at 242 Main in Burlington, VT on September 29th with Energy (Bridge 9 Records). I think Transitions plays the Albany area a lot, as well as Plattsburgh and NYC. Check 'em out!

The Democratic Party: Voting Fraud, Racial Injustice, War and Violence, A Vote Against Healthcare for all.

Music Review #1: Last Lights - Self-Titled 7"

Last Lights - Self-Titled 7"

1. There's No One Good Enough To Be Alone
2. Everybody's Working For The Weak End
3. U.S. Out Of New England
4. The Dream Home Of Insomniacs
5. No Future (The Children's Crusade)

Mightier Than The Sword Records 005

Massachussetts seems to have no shortage of cathartic and nihilistic hardcore these days. Last Lights are no exception and there are few words to describe this hardcore onslaught and thats because Last Lights does not bullshit. The best word I can come up with is "pissed." The ease with which this band goes from brutal breakdowns to breakneck verses and choruses is a spectacle necessary for all current afficionados of hardcore and punk. In fact, Last Lights transcends music all together, with flawless and unrelenting energy that drives you insane. I was fortunate enough to experience this energy live this past Friday at 242 Main in Burlington, VT.

So here is their debut 5-song 7" slapped onto cold, white vinyl (and digital download, for those who have to have an Ipod). Needless to say, the ferociuous and raw intensity of this record has basically melted my turntable. The first track "There's No One Good Enough To Be Alone," is reminiscent of the alienation and despair of Henry Rollin's lyrics in Black Flag, but comparable to the anger of Outbreak. There is no breathing room to get used to Last Lights. As soon as the needle hits the groove, you're on a fast train out of normalcy and comfort. The best part are the intelligent lyrics. For example..."The kids are choking on their own spit. My generation was born controlled. Hope I die before I get sold." Solid.

The second track "Everybody's Working For The Weak End," mocks the complacency of Bruce Springsteen and modern society as we know it, but with a hopelessness and depression. Every kid who ever grew up in the suburbs will understand lines like "every cul de sac is another dead end. Every morning I wake up looking down on a day so shallow that I can't even drown. Tell me, is this all there is?" While the subject matter isn't exactly uplifting, the sheer speed and ferocity of the music will do anything but keep you down.

"U.S. Out Of New England" is the highlight of the record. While it doesn't call for a direct secession movement or anything of that nature, it does accurately describe the constant rebellion against the status quo and indoctrination of our youth, but through the eyes of a New England resident (I suppose). The opening line says " I want to be a thorn in the side of the world, born to bite the hand that feeds the hook down our throats." The delivery of the vocals is pure fucking passion in all of its emotion. It almost sounds like the singer Dom is in pain when he screams the opening line. If this song alone doesn't hook you into these guys, then go buy a fucking Ted Nugent CD already, because you don't get it.

Side B starts off with "The Dream Homes Of Insomniacs," which describes the isolation, boredom and stagnation of small-town life and how people are not willing to step outside of their comfort zone and actually do something meaningful in life. Bravo dudes. You speak my mind. The last song, "No Future (The Children's Crusade)" ends with as much relentless anger as the record started with and will surely leave its print on your record collection. The hollowness of life and the superficiality of its components is so accurately described in lines like, "I've seen wonders of the world, they mean nothing to me. It's a slave trade/war parade/landfill/strip-mall/death factory."

Theres not much else to say, except get off your ass and pick up this 7"! Better yet, if they're playing in your area or near you, go to their show and support them directly by buying some of their merchandise, so they can afford to get home. Oh and don't forget to throw the fuck down while you're at it, because these dudes pour their hearts out into the live show. They live for the road.

Pick up the 7" at www.mtsrecords.com, www.interpunk.com or at www.myspace.com/lastlights.

DO IT!

You remember those kids who would only wear sweatpants in 2nd grade? Yeah I'm that kid.

I've had a great time going to shows in Burlington. I saw this insane hardcore blast-beat band called Ceremony in Winooski a week ago. It was amazing. This band called Another Breath played too and it made me "pogo" up and down. Thats how I know if I like a band. They were that typical melodic hardcore sound, but with a little bit more anger in the vocals and in a lower tuning. I eat that shit up. A local band called I Remember opened up. They were a really progressive hardcore band, but with all that sheer nihilism and anger that makes this music great. Another breath was definitely my style though; fast, abrasive, yet catchy and melodious.

The show I went to tonight was pretty cool. It was at a place called Wasted City on the most obscure street in Colchester. The first band Galen, was pretty heavy with a healthy dosage of maniacal breakdowns. But they also had smooth melodies hidden below the surface in the guitars. I'm such a sucker for that. The next band My America, was really sludgy and angry. Lots of atonal notes and dementing rhythms. I like when bands do that, but I could't wait for them to break into something fast and that never really happened. I almost bought their 7" until I found out in only had one song on it. Bummer. I'll just myspace that ass. The next band, Romans was more of an experimental metal/hardcore/ambient kind of thing. It really wasn't my thing at all. I guess they tour all over the U.S. though. I never heard of them before. But then again, nobody in Rutland ever knew about bands in Burlington, because no band from Burlington would ever bother playing in Rutland. Its so weird how isolated the scenes are and they're only a couple of hours apart. So yeah, I got bored of the Romans and left because I was tired.

I've had a couple of great times hanging out with Miriah and roommates/other friends these past couple of weeks. I got super fucking wasted on her 21st birthday last weekend and somehow dragged myself all the way down to Ri Ra's and got freaky on the dance floor. Thats definitely not me. But when I'm intoxicated, I act like a teeny bopper. It seems like it would be embarassing, but I only remember having a good time. A few days before her birthday party, I met a good friend of hers and we clicked instantly. I won't name any names, because I don't want to freak anybody out, but I really feel like I fell for this girl pretty quickly. Both times I hung out with her, I got super drunk and had a great time. The first time, we went out to Radio Bean and without noticing, due to my drunken stupor, she seemed to be hooking up with this other dude. Yeah he seemed really cool. He had cool facial hair. He didn't look like he was 15 still. He even worked for Bernie Sanders. I was impressed. So we went to some random party later on, but to my surprise, this girl put her number on my phone and gave me a hug before I left. She said we should hang out more. Needless to say, its been pretty hard to hang out with her since. Maybe I just think too hard about things, but it really seems like I always have to call people to initiate a social gathering. Nobody ever calls me. I always feel like I have to invite myself and I really hate doing that. I don't want to be invasive to people's inner circles, but I also want to make new friends in a town where I don't really have any. Make sense? I think its pretty intuitive.

So I didn't see this girl again, until Miriah's birthday party. But I had a great time with her again. We just chatted it up, had some beer and laughed at each other's stupid jokes. She even wanted to come to the store with me to help carry some stuff. it was a really affable thing to do. Later on though, she left go to another party for a while. Thats fine. I was having fun everyone else too. However, I kept wanting her to come back and I kept texting her to see when she would return. She assured me it would be soon, but before I knew it, I was running down to Ri Ra's with Miriah and her friend. But when I came back, she was there and she approached me right away and we were just laughing at each other. Then one of her friends tried to drive away and we stopped him, because he was fucking wasted. Then he wanted to walk to Williston to get some pot and we had to convince him that that was a stupid idea. Sounded like a tough thing to deal with, but the two of us were having a ball laughing at this kid and following him around. I even vaguely remember us embracing for a quick moment as we ran around off our drunk asses. It was great. I don't care how fucking emo that sounds.

Eventually this girl and I passed out on the floor of Miriah's roommate's room. I thought maybe this was the perfect moment to let this girl know that I liked her. But before I knew it, Miriah's roommate came in and told me I couldn't pass out on her floor because I was dirty boy. I really had no intentions of doing anything naughty. I just wanted to be next to this girl. I remember fighting with Miriah's roommate, but she was adamant that I leave and I didn't want to piss her off, so I left and then passed out in their living room. The story of my life. The next day, Miriah's roommate told me that this girl was just being friendly and probably didn't like me. I was pretty devastated to hear that. I mean how does she know what this girl was really thinking about me? Anyways, this girl I liked gave me some aspirin before I left, because she knew how hungover I looked. That was really cool and sweet of her, but maybe it was just because she wanted to be nice, which is entirely possible

Anyways, its been nearly a week since I last spoke with her. I actually had the courage this past Tuesday to call her up and ask her if she wanted to go out sometime, but she didn't pick up and I left a lame-ass voicemail like I always do. She never called me back. Actually that whole crew never calls me. I feel like secretly they despise me and want me to leave when I hang out with them. Maybe this girl also found out that I liked her and now she's freaked out because I'm weird and ugly. I don't know. I'm just depressed, because I thought I had something going. I'm just sick of trying to contact people. I want this girl to call me up and ask me to hang out. That would make my day, but I don't think it'll happen.

FUCK OFF HOMOPHOBES!

http://www.wcax.com/global/Category.asp?c=18197

Check out the video.

A lot of people think that Vermont overall is a place with progressive communities and open-minded people. For the most part, they're right, but its not all null and void. Even in Burlington, people are judged for their sexual orientation.

Last night someone was assaulted at a bar at 2 AM for being gay. Apparently the assailant was mocking the kid by making feminine hand gestures.

While WCAX did cover the story, they put the blame on the victim by claiming that everybody was too drunk to see who attacked him. Thats fucking bullshit. If some gets beat up for being gay and requires 17 stitches to fix their face, then I would send a fucking man hunt out immediately. But currently, Burlington pigs are being fat and lazy. WCAX also happens to question whether it was a hate crime or not, which is bullshit, because the kid is really shooken up and knows that if he was heterosexual it wouldn't have happened. Ugh.

So this should be a wake up call for anybody who thought VT was a completely safe space. Compared to the rest of the country, it may be, but homophobia still exists!

This should give everybody a reason to confront anybody who uses homophobic slang or makes sexist comments. STOP THE HATE!

-Veg

I Am In A World Of Shit

Dear Readers,

This blog will be antagonistic, depressing and overall negative. Worst of all, it will be about myself. I'm sorry to do this, but writing my thoughts down is the best way for me to get things off my chest.

I just had a bad fucking day at work. Of all the important things that you should need at a county fair in the middle of nowhere (Barton, VT), I forgot the fucking canopy tent. If Robyn wasn't there with me, there would have been no way I could have persuaded the organizers to get us inside. But Robyn is older, wiser and more assertive. I want to be like her someday. She probably also knows how to put up a good fight, being a lesbian the majority of her life.

I'm really starting to hate these fucking county fairs or maybe its just the Orleans County Fair. They were definitely trying to swindle us out of our spot. We got there to set up today and the president of the fair wouldn't even look us in the face when we said who we were. What a fucking narrow-minded, biggoted redneck piece of shit. He would hardly even acknowledge our presence. Fortunately for us, I had been talking with a fellow named Marcel Walk for the previous few weeks, one of the other organizers of the fair and he stood up for us. Robyn and I had a feeling that there was a lot of internal politics within the hierarchies of this fair that occasionally bump into each other. So Marcel is a supporter of our cause and he basically got us into Floral Hall and out of the rain. However, the rest of the fair seems to look down on us. I just wish I knew how to persuade them and be assertive like Robyn. If she hadn't been with me today, we would've been totally fucked.

Overall, I'm just really lacking confidence in myself as an organizer. Just today I locked my cell phone inside the office when I left and had to walk all the way back. Maybe I don't think things through. Maybe my professor, Sanjukta was right when she told me I had no brain. I sure don't feel like I do sometimes. To make matters worse, the Orleans Fair is nearly bankrupt every year apparently and that is why they don't give any exhibitors more than two weekly passes. VT Freedom to Marry doesn't work that way however. Each volunteer needs to get in and do their job without any hassle and I have a real bad feeling about the fair starting tomorrow. Apprently the first volunteer hadn't received the two passes in the mail yet, even though I mailed them to her yesterday morning. Apparently the address we had for her in our database was also her work address, not her home one. So what the fuck am I supposed to do? The plan, was to have the volunteers hand over the passes to each other at the main gate, but with the little experience we had just trying to set up today, I'm really fucking worried that we're going to get screwed and that every volunteer will have to buy their own ticket to get in, meaning that we'll have to reimburse them. Its fucking annoying. If you're an exhibitor, you shouldn't need a fucking pass.

I just want to punch a fucking wall. Or maybe my face. But I won't do the latter. I'm over that. Self-mutilation is not good for you. I'm just so fucking scared that I will not get everything done the right with this job and they will fire me. I mean how would it sound if a college graduate got fired from his first "real" job? Wouldn't sound good to me. I just don't want to be a fuck-up. Maybe organizing for a civil rights organization is not my thing. Maybe I was just good at writing protests songs. Too bad music doesn't make a living for most people. Especially if you like hardcore punk. Theres no money in being honest with yourself. Most dreams don't come true, because we live in a society that suppresses individual thought and creativity. Just keep your mouth shut, go to your dead-end job, watch tv, reproduce, drink, repeat. So many people get caught up in it and I don't blame them. You want to survive and you do it at the mercy of fat, privileged, white christian zealotous capitalists. Its fucking disgusting.

I just want to be at a show right now. Or maybe playing in a band. Pumping my fist in the air and yelling at the top of my lungs. And seriously fuck the northeast kingdom in Vermont. There is so much bullshit in small-town mentality. Barton disgust me. Do you have to wear carhartts, working boots and sport a dirt stache to live there? Am I crazy when I say that? Do you also have to be a fucking trendy hippy, college student to live in Burlington? Burlington is so fucking far away from Barton, VT. There completely opposite worlds. People in Barton think Burlington is a big city. I guess 40,000 people is a lot. Maybe they should go to Boston, where their population is that of VT (600,000). There are so many hot girls in Burlington, but they're all into fashion or being "one with the earth" or putting people down because they can't afford to buy organic food all the time. Where the fuck do I fit in anyways? I can't wait until Unrestrained comes back from tour. I really hope Derek and Ryan were sincere when they said they wanted to start a project with me. That kind of interaction would surely save me from the hipster, art student, asian tea drinking scene on church street. Fuck it all.

Ummm...hmmm. Anything good happening lately? I finally got to hang out with Miriah and her roommate Erica this past saturday. Too bad they were both too tired to drink. I was really looking forward to fucking myself up real good. But yeah, its not like anybody ever calls me and asks to hang out up here. I always have to go out of my way to arrange something. Maybe I'm the friend that nobody likes, like in that Dane Cook joke. I've always been that way. My mom used to bring me to the park when I was a little tike, to hang out with other kids in the sandbox and withing five minutes, the whole place would clear out, leaving me to dig my own holes. Do I make people uncomfortable? Am I incredibly boring or self-righteous? Seriously, just let me know.

Now I don't feel like writing anymore, cuz I'm pissed off.

Consistencies

The sound of rain is all too frequent lately. There is no break between intense humidity and the delicate pitter patter of the sky's tears. I am constantly eluding brief moments of pestering heat and moisture by going in and out of air-conditioned stores and the fans in my room. The hustle and bustle of people is neverending. In a way it depresses me. We're all part of the rat race, clenching on to that last bit of monetary gain, work our asses off and then repeating it all over again. Yeah how the fuck can I complain? At least I have a job and a place to call home. But thats not really what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the repetiveness of it all and the lack of real adventure. Of course this exhausting duration of consistencies is momentarily cured by a guzzle of beer and a new record I purchase, but there is something still missing. It could be the lack of new people I've met up here that I can call friend, or the lack of a female counterpart. I do have to say that it was really cool to hang out with Jess yesterday though. I hadn't seen her since graduation in May. It fell good traverse the area with someone I've had a history with and understood exactly what I was talking about. I am very grateful for that, but I also need to create new histories to stop any ominous future.

This past tuesday, I drove over to Williston to see a hardcore show in a haunted warehouse full of copious amounts of kitchen appliances and broken-down scooters. The show was in an upstairs room, that is apparently used by many groups as a practice space. I tried to wander around and find interesting conversations to jump into, but it was really hard. Everybody that was there already had their tight-knit social clique. Alas, I found Zeke, the former drummer of Unrestrained. He was always approachable and friendly. We talked about embarrassing bands we'd been in and what we hoped to be part of next. I guess he was never really that excited about playing hardcore and expressed that his favorite band was Jawbreaker. But he also likes ALL and the Descendents, which I consider hugely influential. I decided to go upstairs eventually and just wait for the first band to play. They were called Lowest of Tides and definitely didn't fit in with the crowd of hardcore-frenzied folk. But that doesn't matter to me. I watched them with all the respect they deserve for going up there and playing what makes them happy. Was it really my thing? Not at all. However, I could tell that they were there simply because they enjoyed being artists and making music that satisfied their creative appetites. Thats the problem sometimes with these hardcore and punk circles: sometimes they become just as close-minded as the people they supposedly rebel against. Its quite funny actually.

So the rest of the bands were definitely more aggressive and full of nihilism and speed. I got pumped. I ran around, jumped off walls and contorted my body in ways that would be publicly amusing. But it didn't matter how ridiculous I looked. I was finally in my zone. I was able to get all of the previous week's anxieties and stress out of my body with that single lightning-fast drum beat and searing guitar. It was beautiful. Hardcore has the ability to bring everybody together in the most chaotic mess possible. We are all there, because we don't fit in with the rest of the world. We espouse to something that is not pretty or easily digestible. It honest, down to earth and somehow brutal without allowing any violence or degradation. Simply put, its aggressive, yet poignant and fullfilling. There is nothing like it. No other kind of music makes my body and mind act the way hardcore does. It gives me more confidence to stand up to the injustices of the world. While the scene may not be as organized as any "professional" body for change, it plants the seeds necessary for a real, authentic lifestyle that challenges corporate America and its all encompassing hierarchies hell-bent on profit. Its amazing.

I really liked all the bands that night, especiallu Wait In Vain and Unrestrained, but what I wasn't ready for, was a surprise performance by My Revenge! Now if you didn't know this, the band previously announced a few months earlier that they would be breaking up and playing their last show on July 19th. That is exactly what happened, but for some reason, all members of My Revenge! somehow showed up at this show without planning anything beforehand. They wanted to play a few songs that they didn't get a chance to play the week before. What happened next was probably the shortest, yet most exciting performance I had ever seen. They played three songs from their first demo tape that came out in 2001, while two people in the crowd starting hurling mattresses around. It was great. Someon ever pulled Mike's pants down as he was about to hurl the thing at the band (Unrestrained's drummer for their upcoming tour). Spencer, the vocalist for My Revenge and avid marriage equality supporter was so funny. He talked about how "young an naive" they had been a week ago to break up, amidst their sudden hardcore stardom. He mentioned their next reunion would be when Unrestrained came back from tour. It seemed like a joke, but to My Revenge, they lived for pranking and joking, all the while trying to get an important message out. I love them.

So today I decided to go grocery shopping for the first time in my young, adult life. Yeat it souns pathetic, but it happened. I had no idea what to get, but the list ended up being tortilla chips, spinach and artichoke hummus, vegan burritos, diet pepsi, organic pasta, thai noodles and some chips. Really fucking lame. The prospect of going to work for five days straight also seems lame, but also reassuring, as I am getting so much experience in the field of non-profits and community organized. I've also started reading Upton Sinclair's "The Jungle" and have recently become acquainted with an extremely innovative band called Modern Life Is War. I want to call the hardcore punk, but they play at a very mid-paced tempo and they have no breakdowns, solo sections or choruses really. Its not predictable at all. Its ugly and mind-bending. They must surely surprise every band in this scene that can become stagnant. Good for them. Check them out at www.myspace.com/modernlifeiswar. Oh yeah, I want to see the new X-Files movie tonight. To spend more money or not to spend more money?

More To Life Than Shopping?

I'm starting to have mixed feelings about this city. There's too many over-privileged, materialist sorority girls wasting Daddy's money. Ok, so that is a quick judgement, but the percentage of that population greatly outweighs any other. Yeah it is true. There are a lot of hot girls in Burlington, but they're all the same and none of them have a personality. I'm sure not all of them are like that, but I've had more than enough encounters, that make me cringe. Theres also too many abercrombie wearin, kswiss wearing frat boys with backwards hats and a strange liking towards daft punk and 50 cent. I try to go into everything with an open mind, but its hard to when you repeatedly find yourself feeling alienated.

Don't get me wrong. Burlington has a lot of opportunity and there are a lot of good people, but even for me those people seem out of reach. First off, I can really relate to everyone at work, but 1) I'm the only heterosexual working there, which means no flirting of any kind and 2) most of them are a great deal older than me and don't relate to a lot of the eccentric parts of my personality, i.e. starting mosh pits and watching Ren & Stimpy. Its difficulty to be yourself and stick to your principles when you're the only one like that. So being a complete individual is a double-edged sword: you like that there are parts about that are unique and maybe even awkward, but you also want to have conversations with people and relate. Here in Burlington, I'm stuck between the young materialistic, frat partying, druggie crowd and the older crowd that I share a lot of views with, but am too young for their tastes.

So this brings me to the question of the day. Where are all the hardcore kids? I guess they're not hanging around downtown after all, but thats where most of the shows happen. I never see any of them outside of 242 or the spectrum. Every once in a while, I'll see somebody sporting a Bane shirt in the distance, but they usually dissapear before I can catch up. That, or they're from Montreal and I feel to ashamed to approach someone who's speaking french. I can't believe I fell into all that hype in college about Spanish being the second most popular language in the world, because now I keep running into people from Quebec. Its weird how things turn out. My roommate Mike is a really cool, laid-back person, but we don't see eye to eye on many things. Theres nothing wrong with that, but I just wish I could talk to someone about Black Flag. I know its not fair to judge people based on their musical preferences, but the who hardcore/punk scene has been such an integral part of my life.

I never see the guys from Unrestrained walking around here. I know they're all from Burlington, so where the fuck are they? I guess they're playing in Williston on tuesday and I got directions to the venue from their guitarist, so maybe I'll finally be able to connect with somebody there. Maybe. Sometimes the hardcore scene can be just as elitist and secular as everybody else. And for me, its a little weird, because I'm not straight edge and a lot of kids take that seriously. But like I've said in the past, that lifestyle should be a personal revolution that is for yourself and your body. Its not supposed to be a trend. Than it contradicts itself. This is why I get weary of edge pride and all those kind of communities. This scene is supposed to be about tolerance and compassion for individuality. Nothing but benevolence and an open mind. Thats what punk has always been to me. Unfortunately for some, its just about having cool clothes and body piercings.

Regardless of anything I say, I'm feeling lonely. I miss some of the Rutland kids. Maybe the special thing about Rutland is that because it was such a shitty town, we had to work harder to make a difference and make the most out of our lives. That kind involvement brings more camraderie and action and less sulking in our reveries; currently something I'm doing. I just really hope that I connect with people my age real soon and have stuff to talk about, because I can't depend on work to make me feel good all the time.

I Need Coffee

The show this past weekend in Rutland was a lot of fun, considering the weak reception locally. I put up hundreds of flyers and it was all over myspace, yet only about 20-30 people came and I'm including the bands as well. I was really glad that After The Fall came and made the best of it. I was really embarassed when they showed up. I had the feeling they were going to think the show was a total joke. Thankfully, they were really down to earth, kind and put on a great show. They seemed to understand what its like to deal with unmotivated and jaded kids these days. I can't say the same for their hometown though. Albany has the biggest fucking pile-ups at shows. People there will tackle you down for the mic. Weight of the World played acoustically. It was ok. I should practice singing more though. Troy's daughter kept dancing in front of us and distracting me. She was so cute. The Jonee Earthquake Band was great as usual. Dianna scored some really rare LP from them thats out of print. Good for her.

Mike Weins came to the show and filmed the whole thing. It later turned out that the sound from the footage was rather "un-audible," and requires a liking to the sound of paper crinkling. Thats too bad. Maybe he could just put an mp3 of one of the bands songs over the video footage? YOU'RE THE FUCKING FILMMAKER MIKE! He's also a consistent blog author that comes close to archiving his daily life. I wish I could say the same about Torches and Tragedies. Check out flumage. The ATF 7" is pretty cool. I got orange vinyl. The band on the b-side, Transitions is a lot different. They seem inspired by the like of Bane, Have Heart and Comeback Kid. A heavier version of hardcore. However, they play in a standard tuning. I also think I was the only one who knew the words to the Kid Dyanmite cover they did, which by the way was "Showoff." Their new LP, "Fort Orange," comes out sometime at the end of summer. Check them out at www.myspace.com/afterthefall518.

So last night I had the oppportunity to hang out with my friend Miriah, who used to go to Castleton. She goes to Champlain College now and lives right on Buell Street, which is only a few block from here. I hung out with her and her roommates Erica and Eliza at Dobra Te, where we sampled some exquisite asian teas and sat indian style for two hours straight in front of a small table only ten centimeters off the ground. It was a lot of fun and I nearly spilled hot water all over everyone. She then showed me her apartment, which is AMAZING. Its looks so comfy and cozy. I really don't think I ever want her to come over to Maple Street, this place is embarassig compared to her place. So at their place we made lemonade with tequila and proceeded to make atrocious animal sounds out the window to unsuspecting passerbyers.

Later on, Eliza decides to go to a house party, so the rest of us go to Radio Bean instead, to get some brews (well Erica and I anyways...Miriah is still a little baby). We see a bunch of hippies play lame ass folk and spoken word and I drink Allagash White. I almost fell asleep too. But to be perfectly honest, the fact that there is actually a night life on a monday night in Burlington, really speaks lengths at how awesome this town is. The last performance of the night was the crazy dude that looked like Van Morrison and played blues rock, with the most spastic stage moves I've ever seen. That guy was fucking crazy. He definitely thought it was still the lat sixties, meaning he was on acid. I couldn't stop laughing. He even played the guitar with his tongue!

Other news: Mike and I are planning a new film. It will be part of his senior project at Castleton. Ok thats it. No leaks.

I wish work went by quicker than the time I have back at my place. Welcome to the real life Matt.

Is It Time For A Break Yet?

This past week was a whirlwind of events. For the most part, everything was family oriented and two opposite ends of the spectrum: the start of a new life and the end of another. Wednesday, I attend my Grandfather's funeral in Brandon. It was depressing and anomalous for our family. Nobody really knew what to say to each other. My Grandmother was especially offbeat, meaning she didn't seem to grieve at all. She didn't even sit up front at the funeral home. I don't think its hit her yet at all. She didn't cry once. Its quite the disarray.

So next, I have to move to Burlington. Its astonishing how it all went down, or up I should say. I had to work all day last thursday and then somehow move in after. This required the bovine character of my mother who was happy to drive a ton of my shit up just as I left work. Apparently my sister and her boyfriend Jess helped her get my mattress, desk, trunk and assortment of other awakward objects into the back of my Dad's pick-up truck. I can't believe my sister actually did something charitable for once. The move was smooth once my mom arrived with everything. My roommate Mike was really cool and helped me carry nearly everything up. So the first night was weird. I was sleeping in a place that I could call my own home and it wasn't in Rutland. So weird.

So friday, I got up early and set-up a bank account at the Opportunities Credit Union on North Aven. I get free checks, debit card and the opportunity to be a member of a financial cooperative. But thats actually boring, so I'll move on. So then I go home to Rutland (so soon!) and get ready for my cousin's wedding in Mystic, CT. The night was dull at home. I sat around, pet Sizzle and tried to finish reading 1984.

I wake up Saturday at an astonishingly reasonable time of 7:30 AM and begin to pack into the family car to hit the road. It was a shitty ride. What can I say. Who enjoys being packed into an internal-combustion vehicle with three of closest family members? To be completely honest, the party that night in Mystic Harbor was way better than the actualy wedding ceremony the following day. I got super drunk and the best part about it was the open bar. The worst part was the clam bake, so I had the innovative vegetarian meal of bread, coleslaw, carrots and tons of beer. The cruise in Mystic Harbor before the clam bake was really cool though. Great sunset on the open sea. Oh and when I mean clam bake, I didn't mean that my whole family toked up. But that would be pretty cool.

So the wedding ceremony the next day was gnarly as fuck. Actually it fucking sucked. I really didn't enjoy hearing the pastor say that marriage was created by God. As far as I knew, it was a social institution created by people and legitimized through the state. Weddings can be religious, but they weren't invented by God. Oh well, they can believe whatever they want. The ceremony took place right in front of the water in ninety degree weather. I was drenched in sweat and maybe piss. However, my own Gods relinquished my spirit with another joyess open bar full of tastey ale and gin. Later on the reception moved inside to air-conditioning, where I was treated to a portabello mushroom burger and champagne. I even got my dancing shoes on! You should've seen me!

So now I'm back in Burlington and to be completely honest, there is never a break. Now its time to go back to work and get the gays in the county fairs around the state. It should all be an interesting experience. Now lets just see if I can learn how to grocery shop in time for...

MY BELLY!

Strength Through Non-Violence

I've really disturbed by the amount of acquaintances whom I've suddenly learned commiserate with the death penalty. Considering the recent discovery of a 12-year old girl's body who had been murdered through a shocking network of sex rings, I can empathize with the anger and grief people must feel, but I cannot support further violence. When in the entire history of humanity has more violence brought everlasting peace and utopia? Never.

The death penalty, like organized warfare is legitimized state violence that is no better than the unsettling actions committed by the original architect of the crime. To me, it is simple; supporting the death penalty only shows that violence is the answer to solving the most shocking troubles in our society. Kiling more people and building more prisons is a stagnant solution. We are not biting at the core of the issue, which is the deep and hateful seeds of violence, misogyny, objectification, sexism and power that is so omnipresent in our cultural institutions, mainly mass media and entertainment. In a country where over two million of its citizens are in prison and others are murdered for their cimes, I think there is something fundamentally wrong with the way we interact towards each other. Death and imprisonment are not solutions, but oppression. If the death penalty is supposed to be effective, wouldn't people not be committing heinous crimes? And what about the mentally unstable? Are they recieving the care they need, so that they won't lash out violently? Probably not.

I am completely exhausted. I've spent the past week getting last minute recruits to march in Independence Day parades with VT Freedom to Marry and the past three days marching in parades and hosting informational booths in various locations. Its challenging to keep the spirit up when you've only been getting five hours of sleep. I need at least eight. Its been fun working with Sheryl though. Her husband Chris is really cool too. He plays drums and gets along with transvestites. This morning I got a call from a kid who was looking for a roommate on Maple St. just as I was preparing to march in the Brandon parade. I got the room! FUCKING FINALLY. This driving back and forth was starting drive me insane, not to mention the serious price gouging of fossil fuels in the country right now. I'm moving in next thursday apparently. Its a great place. Only a couple blocks from the Church St. marketplace and the RU12 building. Awesome.

On a sad note, my Grandfather died on friday. He had been battling serious illness for the past few months and had been hospotlaized for the past few weeks. I guess he did too much abuse to himself over the years. Too much drinking and smoking. I'm going to miss him. He was always really happy to see me when I came over to their house in Leicester. I have fond memories of the cows he used to have and how one time he took a picture of me in front of one and I just happened to place my head right in front of the cow's head so it looked like I had cow ears. Priceless. I think he wanted me to do that actually. It sure was funny. I just hope my Grandma is doing ok. I havn't talked to her since the last time I visted them in the hospital. Grandpa really hated the hospital. Too sterile for a former farmer and handyman. He really wasn't doing good the past week or so. He was saying alot crazy things and obcessing over mistakes of the past. A few times he didn't even know where he was and seemed to lose all sense of reality. I hope he died peacefully.

I've felt kind of lonely lately. Hopefully that'll change in Burlington. I need to hang out with some heterosexual girls. Everybody I've been around lately is a lesbian or married heterosexual woman. Thats not bad. I just want to flirt I guess.

Seriously, what the fuck Burlington...

I almost threw my desk out of my office window today. I have been denied for the 11th time to room with someone. This time it was on South Williams St. It was only $375/month and less than ten minutes from downtown Burlington. The kid Matt, explained that his cousin had suddenly moved back to the city and needed a place to stay. Fuck your family. I will be your family. Sometimes I just want to napalm people. But seriously, I would never do that, because I'm a peace-loving hippie with hemp neclaces.

Oh yeah. I totally forgot to mention what happend last thursday before I left Burlington. I met up with a hippie chick named Erin, who needed a roommate asap for their $320/month place! Dirt cheap. But I got denied. I even walked all the way down Bright St. with her and had a great conversation about beer. Apparently she works at Magic Hat and she gets a lot of free booze. That would have been such a perk. But as usual, she called me the next day and explained that her other roommate actually wanted an all-girls place. I thought I was really feminine. If the man-boobs aren't enough, than I don't know what is. Apparently this girl knows this kid named JR Duval, who I went to high school with. I know this, because we saw him as we were walking to her place and she starting chatting with him. He shook my hand. Damn, he's lost a lot of weight. He probably smokes a lot of crack.

Work is getting hard without a place up there. Too much needs to be done all the time and the distance is becoming a disadvantage. Seriously, someone needs to give me a chance. I'm not a pedophile and I don't jack off to Barney. I even smell like roses and adore cute kittens. What could be better?

I finally got the other Shook Ones album I had been waiting for, for nearly a month. It so fucking fast. Nobody likes fast hardcore punk anymore. Especially the kind that throws in melody here and there and has fat bassists. I also found out today that Spencer Crispe, the singer of My Revenge! will be marching in the Brandon 4th of July parade with Vermont Freedom to Marry. Thats so fucking dope.

Titilating

Not much new going on lately. Apartment search is going nowhere and I'm needed a lot more in Burlington for freedom to marry. Its typical. If anything can be conveniant, it probably won't happen. Dr. Paul picked his closer friend over me. Thats actually not surprising. I'm just sick of the competition. I want someone to say "you're in," without hesitation. Well apparently I'm checking a place out on S. William's St. The dude looking for a roommate is also named Matt. I feel like that happens all to often. Too many people steal my fucking name. Poseurs.

So the band played this past friday with Troy on guitar. He was great. Really precise. I couldn't have asked for more. I couldn't believe we played that tight either. We hardly practice. Now that I think of it, we've all been playing in bands for at least five years or more (Troy more than ten), so its easy to jump in and pick up a simple chord progression and redundant melody (playing fast is fun...I don't care what you elitist metal heads say). The show was cool. Got the new Suburban Showdown 7". They played without their lead guitarist and I was still blown away.

Got really drunk on saturday at my graduation party in the backyard. Yeah, right in front of a few relatives and my sister's boyfriend's parents. Oh well. Thats what you get when your Dad buys two 12 packs of Long Trail and noboedy else is drinking them. I also got some money, but its already gone now. Fossil fuels and hardcore suck you dry.

Speaking of hardcore, I went to 242 main on Sunday and saw a fucking incredible set of bands: Braindead, Unrestrained, Wake Up Call and Ruiner. I went fucking crazy. All really fast and angry hardcore. I couldn't stop running around and jumping on everyone. It was exactly what I needed after that long work week. Ryan, the singer of Unrestrained really through himself into the music. Actually he literally threw himself off the stage a few times and at one point was hanging from the raftors with the mic tied around his neck. Before they played, I saw him wearing a Vermont Freedom To Marry t-shirt. I talked to him and apparently he was at the Warren 4th of July parade last year and apparently he's also the nephew of Andra Kisler, who just put on a house party for house. Vermont seems to get smaller and smaller the more people I meet. The first band at the show, Braindead, was not usually something I would listen to, being that they were so heavy, but they had a lot of atmospherical ambience and landscape like sounds that accompanied their brand of heavy hardcore that I found extremely innovative. Their singer was wicked nice too and he even offered me some vegan chili. I bought their CD instead.

There were so many hot girls at the show. I wish I had the guts to approach any of them and strike up a conversation. Then again, I was sweating like a pig and shouting at the top of my lungs half the time. They may not have appreciated that. But damn, it really got me when one really attractive girl came in when it started to pour like crazy outside. I wish she wasn't so wet and scantly-clad. It makes life difficult.

Wow. Tired. Night.

Cyclical Normalcy

The title says it all. I've entered cyclical normalcy. Repetition and a strive to pay bills. That is what my life is becoming. I shouldn't be that bitter though, because I'm working to achieve a gay marriage bill in Vermont. The only thing is, there are a few logistical things about being an organizer that can be somewhat arduous. Take the hundreds of phone calls and emails I write. Its challenging, but it is affecting REAL people's lives and my efforts could very help the bill be passed in the Vermont congress next year. Well my efforts and the thousands of Vermonters who are ready to tie the knot and achieve equality.

So I still have not gotten a place in Burlington. I've gotten a lead with Dr. Paul, whose place is on the same street that I work on, but he has not called me yet. Then again, he mentioned by the end of the week. I'm in competition with one of his friends who is unsure of his time commitment. That seems to be the way of things. However, my Dad told me about a place on Cliff St. Its a ten minute walk from downtown. That would suffice. There is no deposit or lease. Just move in and pay $400 a month. I sent the residents an email. Hopefully the get back to me. I'll be going back up to the office on thursday and I'd like to check out the place before I leave.

I got really drunk this past friday, when I went downtown with Drop-kick Chris (my only conservative friend) to Saints 'N Sinners. Its been months since I've been there and I really missed the Guinness on tap. Well I had my share of that deathly dark alcoholic stew, I don't remember what many of my conversations with anybody entailed. I do remember this one cute girl who had a wallet made out of duct-tape. I also remember that Chris drank twisted teas all night and how awkward that was. I mean he's the guy who has a banner on his myspace page that says "real men drink stout." Well I'm glad he did actually, because if he drank anything stronger, I would have been stuck downtown walking aimlessly in a drunken haze.

Work is intense. I'm organizing volunteers for eight 4th of july parade, eight county fairs and the Burlington Pride Parade. Tomorrow will entail hundreds of phone calls and follow-up emails. This friday, however, Weight of the World is playing a benefit show in Charlestown, NH to help raise money to stop the genocide in Darfur, Sudan. Check out www.savedarfur.org and learn about this human rights disaster, because you won't be hearing it on the networks.

Saturday, my parents are supposedly putting on a graduation party for Allyson and I. Apparently nobody is coming. That doesn't surprise me at all. It also doesn't surprise me that all of our family and relatives have made up languid reasons as to why they can't show up. We're the black sheep of our family. I don't know why, other than the fact that we're not overtly religious jesus-freaks and bible thumpers who will vote for McCain because he "seems like a nice man." I should have know, state-sponsored terror and murder is a commonality in the old, but nice man contingent. Silly me.

I'm fucking tired.

Always Afraid

I just realized I never made a point to talk about the movie Mike and I put together a couple of months ago. I think it came out really good. For those of you who don't get a chance to see it, its based on a hypothetical totalitarian society (actually Rutland, VT). The plot is relatively simple, but with a complex underlying theme of fascist and oppressive social institutions. In the film, two guys in a relationship are subjugated to daily humiliation and threats from authority for being gay. I don't want to give the whole thing away, so if you want a copy I suggest you contact Mike on his blog "flummage," and maybe he'll burn you a copy. If anything, he should put it up on youtube (its barely a half hour).

I would say that Ryan had the most natural acting out of all of us. Even Jess, who had the shortest role did better than me. Theres just something about hearing your voice recorded that makes you cringe (or makes me cringe anyways). At times it actually sounds like I have a lispe, which is fine considering I was playing a gay character, but Ryan is gay in real life and he doesn't have a lispe! Well I guess not all stereotypes are true. I didn't see him flick his wrist once either or decorate his apartment with Christina Aguilera posters or pink drapery. He's the most heterosexual gay dude I've ever met. Haha. Stereotypes can be funny. But they shouldn't be enforced. Oh shit, I'm a hypocrite.

Aside from my lackluster acting performance, I think Mike did a great job shooting the whole thing and editing it. It has a real cinema verite feel to it, which is good. Some of the shots are rather continuous with few cuts for several minutes. I always like movies like that. They're more realistic. Although somehow Mike was able to have an aerial shot of Ryan walking downtown, through the vision of a security camera, where his profile was brought up showing his criminal charges. That was wicked cool. I don't remember doing anything like that in videoworkshop. But then again, I wasn't allowed to edit, because I sucked hardcore at it and nobody wanted me to fuck up there project. I also didn't enjoy using Final Cut either. Too tedious and boring. I guess its not for everybody.

There are, however, some rather obvious discontinuity errors. For example, when Ryan and I go back to the apartment after our talk four weeks later after getting out of prison, I suddenly have long hair again and pants. I was thankfully wearing the same Jonee Band shirt. And then later on, when Ryan gets arrested for the final time, you can clearly see snow outside, even though an earlier shot there was none at all and it looked like late spring. Oh well. Its not like we had a budget or schedule that was conveniant. However, Mike spelled my last name wrong in the credits. Its "Kimball," not Kimble. I've also seen people spell it as "kimbell." Oh well. He's forgiven. He's a great kid to work with anyways.

I'm really digging the Shook Ones album I got. Check them out at www.myspace.com/shookones. Also check out Wake Up Call from Maine. Just got their album too. Its only 16 minutes long and has 11 songs. Angry hardcore with big breakdowns. Shook Ones is more melodious and super fast, but the singer sounds a lot like Kid Dynamite.