Consistencies

The sound of rain is all too frequent lately. There is no break between intense humidity and the delicate pitter patter of the sky's tears. I am constantly eluding brief moments of pestering heat and moisture by going in and out of air-conditioned stores and the fans in my room. The hustle and bustle of people is neverending. In a way it depresses me. We're all part of the rat race, clenching on to that last bit of monetary gain, work our asses off and then repeating it all over again. Yeah how the fuck can I complain? At least I have a job and a place to call home. But thats not really what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the repetiveness of it all and the lack of real adventure. Of course this exhausting duration of consistencies is momentarily cured by a guzzle of beer and a new record I purchase, but there is something still missing. It could be the lack of new people I've met up here that I can call friend, or the lack of a female counterpart. I do have to say that it was really cool to hang out with Jess yesterday though. I hadn't seen her since graduation in May. It fell good traverse the area with someone I've had a history with and understood exactly what I was talking about. I am very grateful for that, but I also need to create new histories to stop any ominous future.

This past tuesday, I drove over to Williston to see a hardcore show in a haunted warehouse full of copious amounts of kitchen appliances and broken-down scooters. The show was in an upstairs room, that is apparently used by many groups as a practice space. I tried to wander around and find interesting conversations to jump into, but it was really hard. Everybody that was there already had their tight-knit social clique. Alas, I found Zeke, the former drummer of Unrestrained. He was always approachable and friendly. We talked about embarrassing bands we'd been in and what we hoped to be part of next. I guess he was never really that excited about playing hardcore and expressed that his favorite band was Jawbreaker. But he also likes ALL and the Descendents, which I consider hugely influential. I decided to go upstairs eventually and just wait for the first band to play. They were called Lowest of Tides and definitely didn't fit in with the crowd of hardcore-frenzied folk. But that doesn't matter to me. I watched them with all the respect they deserve for going up there and playing what makes them happy. Was it really my thing? Not at all. However, I could tell that they were there simply because they enjoyed being artists and making music that satisfied their creative appetites. Thats the problem sometimes with these hardcore and punk circles: sometimes they become just as close-minded as the people they supposedly rebel against. Its quite funny actually.

So the rest of the bands were definitely more aggressive and full of nihilism and speed. I got pumped. I ran around, jumped off walls and contorted my body in ways that would be publicly amusing. But it didn't matter how ridiculous I looked. I was finally in my zone. I was able to get all of the previous week's anxieties and stress out of my body with that single lightning-fast drum beat and searing guitar. It was beautiful. Hardcore has the ability to bring everybody together in the most chaotic mess possible. We are all there, because we don't fit in with the rest of the world. We espouse to something that is not pretty or easily digestible. It honest, down to earth and somehow brutal without allowing any violence or degradation. Simply put, its aggressive, yet poignant and fullfilling. There is nothing like it. No other kind of music makes my body and mind act the way hardcore does. It gives me more confidence to stand up to the injustices of the world. While the scene may not be as organized as any "professional" body for change, it plants the seeds necessary for a real, authentic lifestyle that challenges corporate America and its all encompassing hierarchies hell-bent on profit. Its amazing.

I really liked all the bands that night, especiallu Wait In Vain and Unrestrained, but what I wasn't ready for, was a surprise performance by My Revenge! Now if you didn't know this, the band previously announced a few months earlier that they would be breaking up and playing their last show on July 19th. That is exactly what happened, but for some reason, all members of My Revenge! somehow showed up at this show without planning anything beforehand. They wanted to play a few songs that they didn't get a chance to play the week before. What happened next was probably the shortest, yet most exciting performance I had ever seen. They played three songs from their first demo tape that came out in 2001, while two people in the crowd starting hurling mattresses around. It was great. Someon ever pulled Mike's pants down as he was about to hurl the thing at the band (Unrestrained's drummer for their upcoming tour). Spencer, the vocalist for My Revenge and avid marriage equality supporter was so funny. He talked about how "young an naive" they had been a week ago to break up, amidst their sudden hardcore stardom. He mentioned their next reunion would be when Unrestrained came back from tour. It seemed like a joke, but to My Revenge, they lived for pranking and joking, all the while trying to get an important message out. I love them.

So today I decided to go grocery shopping for the first time in my young, adult life. Yeat it souns pathetic, but it happened. I had no idea what to get, but the list ended up being tortilla chips, spinach and artichoke hummus, vegan burritos, diet pepsi, organic pasta, thai noodles and some chips. Really fucking lame. The prospect of going to work for five days straight also seems lame, but also reassuring, as I am getting so much experience in the field of non-profits and community organized. I've also started reading Upton Sinclair's "The Jungle" and have recently become acquainted with an extremely innovative band called Modern Life Is War. I want to call the hardcore punk, but they play at a very mid-paced tempo and they have no breakdowns, solo sections or choruses really. Its not predictable at all. Its ugly and mind-bending. They must surely surprise every band in this scene that can become stagnant. Good for them. Check them out at www.myspace.com/modernlifeiswar. Oh yeah, I want to see the new X-Files movie tonight. To spend more money or not to spend more money?