More To Life Than Shopping?

I'm starting to have mixed feelings about this city. There's too many over-privileged, materialist sorority girls wasting Daddy's money. Ok, so that is a quick judgement, but the percentage of that population greatly outweighs any other. Yeah it is true. There are a lot of hot girls in Burlington, but they're all the same and none of them have a personality. I'm sure not all of them are like that, but I've had more than enough encounters, that make me cringe. Theres also too many abercrombie wearin, kswiss wearing frat boys with backwards hats and a strange liking towards daft punk and 50 cent. I try to go into everything with an open mind, but its hard to when you repeatedly find yourself feeling alienated.

Don't get me wrong. Burlington has a lot of opportunity and there are a lot of good people, but even for me those people seem out of reach. First off, I can really relate to everyone at work, but 1) I'm the only heterosexual working there, which means no flirting of any kind and 2) most of them are a great deal older than me and don't relate to a lot of the eccentric parts of my personality, i.e. starting mosh pits and watching Ren & Stimpy. Its difficulty to be yourself and stick to your principles when you're the only one like that. So being a complete individual is a double-edged sword: you like that there are parts about that are unique and maybe even awkward, but you also want to have conversations with people and relate. Here in Burlington, I'm stuck between the young materialistic, frat partying, druggie crowd and the older crowd that I share a lot of views with, but am too young for their tastes.

So this brings me to the question of the day. Where are all the hardcore kids? I guess they're not hanging around downtown after all, but thats where most of the shows happen. I never see any of them outside of 242 or the spectrum. Every once in a while, I'll see somebody sporting a Bane shirt in the distance, but they usually dissapear before I can catch up. That, or they're from Montreal and I feel to ashamed to approach someone who's speaking french. I can't believe I fell into all that hype in college about Spanish being the second most popular language in the world, because now I keep running into people from Quebec. Its weird how things turn out. My roommate Mike is a really cool, laid-back person, but we don't see eye to eye on many things. Theres nothing wrong with that, but I just wish I could talk to someone about Black Flag. I know its not fair to judge people based on their musical preferences, but the who hardcore/punk scene has been such an integral part of my life.

I never see the guys from Unrestrained walking around here. I know they're all from Burlington, so where the fuck are they? I guess they're playing in Williston on tuesday and I got directions to the venue from their guitarist, so maybe I'll finally be able to connect with somebody there. Maybe. Sometimes the hardcore scene can be just as elitist and secular as everybody else. And for me, its a little weird, because I'm not straight edge and a lot of kids take that seriously. But like I've said in the past, that lifestyle should be a personal revolution that is for yourself and your body. Its not supposed to be a trend. Than it contradicts itself. This is why I get weary of edge pride and all those kind of communities. This scene is supposed to be about tolerance and compassion for individuality. Nothing but benevolence and an open mind. Thats what punk has always been to me. Unfortunately for some, its just about having cool clothes and body piercings.

Regardless of anything I say, I'm feeling lonely. I miss some of the Rutland kids. Maybe the special thing about Rutland is that because it was such a shitty town, we had to work harder to make a difference and make the most out of our lives. That kind involvement brings more camraderie and action and less sulking in our reveries; currently something I'm doing. I just really hope that I connect with people my age real soon and have stuff to talk about, because I can't depend on work to make me feel good all the time.