http://www.wcax.com/global/Category.asp?c=18197
Check out the video.
A lot of people think that Vermont overall is a place with progressive communities and open-minded people. For the most part, they're right, but its not all null and void. Even in Burlington, people are judged for their sexual orientation.
Last night someone was assaulted at a bar at 2 AM for being gay. Apparently the assailant was mocking the kid by making feminine hand gestures.
While WCAX did cover the story, they put the blame on the victim by claiming that everybody was too drunk to see who attacked him. Thats fucking bullshit. If some gets beat up for being gay and requires 17 stitches to fix their face, then I would send a fucking man hunt out immediately. But currently, Burlington pigs are being fat and lazy. WCAX also happens to question whether it was a hate crime or not, which is bullshit, because the kid is really shooken up and knows that if he was heterosexual it wouldn't have happened. Ugh.
So this should be a wake up call for anybody who thought VT was a completely safe space. Compared to the rest of the country, it may be, but homophobia still exists!
This should give everybody a reason to confront anybody who uses homophobic slang or makes sexist comments. STOP THE HATE!
-Veg
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
I Am In A World Of Shit
Dear Readers,
This blog will be antagonistic, depressing and overall negative. Worst of all, it will be about myself. I'm sorry to do this, but writing my thoughts down is the best way for me to get things off my chest.
I just had a bad fucking day at work. Of all the important things that you should need at a county fair in the middle of nowhere (Barton, VT), I forgot the fucking canopy tent. If Robyn wasn't there with me, there would have been no way I could have persuaded the organizers to get us inside. But Robyn is older, wiser and more assertive. I want to be like her someday. She probably also knows how to put up a good fight, being a lesbian the majority of her life.
I'm really starting to hate these fucking county fairs or maybe its just the Orleans County Fair. They were definitely trying to swindle us out of our spot. We got there to set up today and the president of the fair wouldn't even look us in the face when we said who we were. What a fucking narrow-minded, biggoted redneck piece of shit. He would hardly even acknowledge our presence. Fortunately for us, I had been talking with a fellow named Marcel Walk for the previous few weeks, one of the other organizers of the fair and he stood up for us. Robyn and I had a feeling that there was a lot of internal politics within the hierarchies of this fair that occasionally bump into each other. So Marcel is a supporter of our cause and he basically got us into Floral Hall and out of the rain. However, the rest of the fair seems to look down on us. I just wish I knew how to persuade them and be assertive like Robyn. If she hadn't been with me today, we would've been totally fucked.
Overall, I'm just really lacking confidence in myself as an organizer. Just today I locked my cell phone inside the office when I left and had to walk all the way back. Maybe I don't think things through. Maybe my professor, Sanjukta was right when she told me I had no brain. I sure don't feel like I do sometimes. To make matters worse, the Orleans Fair is nearly bankrupt every year apparently and that is why they don't give any exhibitors more than two weekly passes. VT Freedom to Marry doesn't work that way however. Each volunteer needs to get in and do their job without any hassle and I have a real bad feeling about the fair starting tomorrow. Apprently the first volunteer hadn't received the two passes in the mail yet, even though I mailed them to her yesterday morning. Apparently the address we had for her in our database was also her work address, not her home one. So what the fuck am I supposed to do? The plan, was to have the volunteers hand over the passes to each other at the main gate, but with the little experience we had just trying to set up today, I'm really fucking worried that we're going to get screwed and that every volunteer will have to buy their own ticket to get in, meaning that we'll have to reimburse them. Its fucking annoying. If you're an exhibitor, you shouldn't need a fucking pass.
I just want to punch a fucking wall. Or maybe my face. But I won't do the latter. I'm over that. Self-mutilation is not good for you. I'm just so fucking scared that I will not get everything done the right with this job and they will fire me. I mean how would it sound if a college graduate got fired from his first "real" job? Wouldn't sound good to me. I just don't want to be a fuck-up. Maybe organizing for a civil rights organization is not my thing. Maybe I was just good at writing protests songs. Too bad music doesn't make a living for most people. Especially if you like hardcore punk. Theres no money in being honest with yourself. Most dreams don't come true, because we live in a society that suppresses individual thought and creativity. Just keep your mouth shut, go to your dead-end job, watch tv, reproduce, drink, repeat. So many people get caught up in it and I don't blame them. You want to survive and you do it at the mercy of fat, privileged, white christian zealotous capitalists. Its fucking disgusting.
I just want to be at a show right now. Or maybe playing in a band. Pumping my fist in the air and yelling at the top of my lungs. And seriously fuck the northeast kingdom in Vermont. There is so much bullshit in small-town mentality. Barton disgust me. Do you have to wear carhartts, working boots and sport a dirt stache to live there? Am I crazy when I say that? Do you also have to be a fucking trendy hippy, college student to live in Burlington? Burlington is so fucking far away from Barton, VT. There completely opposite worlds. People in Barton think Burlington is a big city. I guess 40,000 people is a lot. Maybe they should go to Boston, where their population is that of VT (600,000). There are so many hot girls in Burlington, but they're all into fashion or being "one with the earth" or putting people down because they can't afford to buy organic food all the time. Where the fuck do I fit in anyways? I can't wait until Unrestrained comes back from tour. I really hope Derek and Ryan were sincere when they said they wanted to start a project with me. That kind of interaction would surely save me from the hipster, art student, asian tea drinking scene on church street. Fuck it all.
Ummm...hmmm. Anything good happening lately? I finally got to hang out with Miriah and her roommate Erica this past saturday. Too bad they were both too tired to drink. I was really looking forward to fucking myself up real good. But yeah, its not like anybody ever calls me and asks to hang out up here. I always have to go out of my way to arrange something. Maybe I'm the friend that nobody likes, like in that Dane Cook joke. I've always been that way. My mom used to bring me to the park when I was a little tike, to hang out with other kids in the sandbox and withing five minutes, the whole place would clear out, leaving me to dig my own holes. Do I make people uncomfortable? Am I incredibly boring or self-righteous? Seriously, just let me know.
Now I don't feel like writing anymore, cuz I'm pissed off.
This blog will be antagonistic, depressing and overall negative. Worst of all, it will be about myself. I'm sorry to do this, but writing my thoughts down is the best way for me to get things off my chest.
I just had a bad fucking day at work. Of all the important things that you should need at a county fair in the middle of nowhere (Barton, VT), I forgot the fucking canopy tent. If Robyn wasn't there with me, there would have been no way I could have persuaded the organizers to get us inside. But Robyn is older, wiser and more assertive. I want to be like her someday. She probably also knows how to put up a good fight, being a lesbian the majority of her life.
I'm really starting to hate these fucking county fairs or maybe its just the Orleans County Fair. They were definitely trying to swindle us out of our spot. We got there to set up today and the president of the fair wouldn't even look us in the face when we said who we were. What a fucking narrow-minded, biggoted redneck piece of shit. He would hardly even acknowledge our presence. Fortunately for us, I had been talking with a fellow named Marcel Walk for the previous few weeks, one of the other organizers of the fair and he stood up for us. Robyn and I had a feeling that there was a lot of internal politics within the hierarchies of this fair that occasionally bump into each other. So Marcel is a supporter of our cause and he basically got us into Floral Hall and out of the rain. However, the rest of the fair seems to look down on us. I just wish I knew how to persuade them and be assertive like Robyn. If she hadn't been with me today, we would've been totally fucked.
Overall, I'm just really lacking confidence in myself as an organizer. Just today I locked my cell phone inside the office when I left and had to walk all the way back. Maybe I don't think things through. Maybe my professor, Sanjukta was right when she told me I had no brain. I sure don't feel like I do sometimes. To make matters worse, the Orleans Fair is nearly bankrupt every year apparently and that is why they don't give any exhibitors more than two weekly passes. VT Freedom to Marry doesn't work that way however. Each volunteer needs to get in and do their job without any hassle and I have a real bad feeling about the fair starting tomorrow. Apprently the first volunteer hadn't received the two passes in the mail yet, even though I mailed them to her yesterday morning. Apparently the address we had for her in our database was also her work address, not her home one. So what the fuck am I supposed to do? The plan, was to have the volunteers hand over the passes to each other at the main gate, but with the little experience we had just trying to set up today, I'm really fucking worried that we're going to get screwed and that every volunteer will have to buy their own ticket to get in, meaning that we'll have to reimburse them. Its fucking annoying. If you're an exhibitor, you shouldn't need a fucking pass.
I just want to punch a fucking wall. Or maybe my face. But I won't do the latter. I'm over that. Self-mutilation is not good for you. I'm just so fucking scared that I will not get everything done the right with this job and they will fire me. I mean how would it sound if a college graduate got fired from his first "real" job? Wouldn't sound good to me. I just don't want to be a fuck-up. Maybe organizing for a civil rights organization is not my thing. Maybe I was just good at writing protests songs. Too bad music doesn't make a living for most people. Especially if you like hardcore punk. Theres no money in being honest with yourself. Most dreams don't come true, because we live in a society that suppresses individual thought and creativity. Just keep your mouth shut, go to your dead-end job, watch tv, reproduce, drink, repeat. So many people get caught up in it and I don't blame them. You want to survive and you do it at the mercy of fat, privileged, white christian zealotous capitalists. Its fucking disgusting.
I just want to be at a show right now. Or maybe playing in a band. Pumping my fist in the air and yelling at the top of my lungs. And seriously fuck the northeast kingdom in Vermont. There is so much bullshit in small-town mentality. Barton disgust me. Do you have to wear carhartts, working boots and sport a dirt stache to live there? Am I crazy when I say that? Do you also have to be a fucking trendy hippy, college student to live in Burlington? Burlington is so fucking far away from Barton, VT. There completely opposite worlds. People in Barton think Burlington is a big city. I guess 40,000 people is a lot. Maybe they should go to Boston, where their population is that of VT (600,000). There are so many hot girls in Burlington, but they're all into fashion or being "one with the earth" or putting people down because they can't afford to buy organic food all the time. Where the fuck do I fit in anyways? I can't wait until Unrestrained comes back from tour. I really hope Derek and Ryan were sincere when they said they wanted to start a project with me. That kind of interaction would surely save me from the hipster, art student, asian tea drinking scene on church street. Fuck it all.
Ummm...hmmm. Anything good happening lately? I finally got to hang out with Miriah and her roommate Erica this past saturday. Too bad they were both too tired to drink. I was really looking forward to fucking myself up real good. But yeah, its not like anybody ever calls me and asks to hang out up here. I always have to go out of my way to arrange something. Maybe I'm the friend that nobody likes, like in that Dane Cook joke. I've always been that way. My mom used to bring me to the park when I was a little tike, to hang out with other kids in the sandbox and withing five minutes, the whole place would clear out, leaving me to dig my own holes. Do I make people uncomfortable? Am I incredibly boring or self-righteous? Seriously, just let me know.
Now I don't feel like writing anymore, cuz I'm pissed off.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Consistencies
The sound of rain is all too frequent lately. There is no break between intense humidity and the delicate pitter patter of the sky's tears. I am constantly eluding brief moments of pestering heat and moisture by going in and out of air-conditioned stores and the fans in my room. The hustle and bustle of people is neverending. In a way it depresses me. We're all part of the rat race, clenching on to that last bit of monetary gain, work our asses off and then repeating it all over again. Yeah how the fuck can I complain? At least I have a job and a place to call home. But thats not really what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the repetiveness of it all and the lack of real adventure. Of course this exhausting duration of consistencies is momentarily cured by a guzzle of beer and a new record I purchase, but there is something still missing. It could be the lack of new people I've met up here that I can call friend, or the lack of a female counterpart. I do have to say that it was really cool to hang out with Jess yesterday though. I hadn't seen her since graduation in May. It fell good traverse the area with someone I've had a history with and understood exactly what I was talking about. I am very grateful for that, but I also need to create new histories to stop any ominous future.
This past tuesday, I drove over to Williston to see a hardcore show in a haunted warehouse full of copious amounts of kitchen appliances and broken-down scooters. The show was in an upstairs room, that is apparently used by many groups as a practice space. I tried to wander around and find interesting conversations to jump into, but it was really hard. Everybody that was there already had their tight-knit social clique. Alas, I found Zeke, the former drummer of Unrestrained. He was always approachable and friendly. We talked about embarrassing bands we'd been in and what we hoped to be part of next. I guess he was never really that excited about playing hardcore and expressed that his favorite band was Jawbreaker. But he also likes ALL and the Descendents, which I consider hugely influential. I decided to go upstairs eventually and just wait for the first band to play. They were called Lowest of Tides and definitely didn't fit in with the crowd of hardcore-frenzied folk. But that doesn't matter to me. I watched them with all the respect they deserve for going up there and playing what makes them happy. Was it really my thing? Not at all. However, I could tell that they were there simply because they enjoyed being artists and making music that satisfied their creative appetites. Thats the problem sometimes with these hardcore and punk circles: sometimes they become just as close-minded as the people they supposedly rebel against. Its quite funny actually.
So the rest of the bands were definitely more aggressive and full of nihilism and speed. I got pumped. I ran around, jumped off walls and contorted my body in ways that would be publicly amusing. But it didn't matter how ridiculous I looked. I was finally in my zone. I was able to get all of the previous week's anxieties and stress out of my body with that single lightning-fast drum beat and searing guitar. It was beautiful. Hardcore has the ability to bring everybody together in the most chaotic mess possible. We are all there, because we don't fit in with the rest of the world. We espouse to something that is not pretty or easily digestible. It honest, down to earth and somehow brutal without allowing any violence or degradation. Simply put, its aggressive, yet poignant and fullfilling. There is nothing like it. No other kind of music makes my body and mind act the way hardcore does. It gives me more confidence to stand up to the injustices of the world. While the scene may not be as organized as any "professional" body for change, it plants the seeds necessary for a real, authentic lifestyle that challenges corporate America and its all encompassing hierarchies hell-bent on profit. Its amazing.
I really liked all the bands that night, especiallu Wait In Vain and Unrestrained, but what I wasn't ready for, was a surprise performance by My Revenge! Now if you didn't know this, the band previously announced a few months earlier that they would be breaking up and playing their last show on July 19th. That is exactly what happened, but for some reason, all members of My Revenge! somehow showed up at this show without planning anything beforehand. They wanted to play a few songs that they didn't get a chance to play the week before. What happened next was probably the shortest, yet most exciting performance I had ever seen. They played three songs from their first demo tape that came out in 2001, while two people in the crowd starting hurling mattresses around. It was great. Someon ever pulled Mike's pants down as he was about to hurl the thing at the band (Unrestrained's drummer for their upcoming tour). Spencer, the vocalist for My Revenge and avid marriage equality supporter was so funny. He talked about how "young an naive" they had been a week ago to break up, amidst their sudden hardcore stardom. He mentioned their next reunion would be when Unrestrained came back from tour. It seemed like a joke, but to My Revenge, they lived for pranking and joking, all the while trying to get an important message out. I love them.
So today I decided to go grocery shopping for the first time in my young, adult life. Yeat it souns pathetic, but it happened. I had no idea what to get, but the list ended up being tortilla chips, spinach and artichoke hummus, vegan burritos, diet pepsi, organic pasta, thai noodles and some chips. Really fucking lame. The prospect of going to work for five days straight also seems lame, but also reassuring, as I am getting so much experience in the field of non-profits and community organized. I've also started reading Upton Sinclair's "The Jungle" and have recently become acquainted with an extremely innovative band called Modern Life Is War. I want to call the hardcore punk, but they play at a very mid-paced tempo and they have no breakdowns, solo sections or choruses really. Its not predictable at all. Its ugly and mind-bending. They must surely surprise every band in this scene that can become stagnant. Good for them. Check them out at www.myspace.com/modernlifeiswar. Oh yeah, I want to see the new X-Files movie tonight. To spend more money or not to spend more money?
This past tuesday, I drove over to Williston to see a hardcore show in a haunted warehouse full of copious amounts of kitchen appliances and broken-down scooters. The show was in an upstairs room, that is apparently used by many groups as a practice space. I tried to wander around and find interesting conversations to jump into, but it was really hard. Everybody that was there already had their tight-knit social clique. Alas, I found Zeke, the former drummer of Unrestrained. He was always approachable and friendly. We talked about embarrassing bands we'd been in and what we hoped to be part of next. I guess he was never really that excited about playing hardcore and expressed that his favorite band was Jawbreaker. But he also likes ALL and the Descendents, which I consider hugely influential. I decided to go upstairs eventually and just wait for the first band to play. They were called Lowest of Tides and definitely didn't fit in with the crowd of hardcore-frenzied folk. But that doesn't matter to me. I watched them with all the respect they deserve for going up there and playing what makes them happy. Was it really my thing? Not at all. However, I could tell that they were there simply because they enjoyed being artists and making music that satisfied their creative appetites. Thats the problem sometimes with these hardcore and punk circles: sometimes they become just as close-minded as the people they supposedly rebel against. Its quite funny actually.
So the rest of the bands were definitely more aggressive and full of nihilism and speed. I got pumped. I ran around, jumped off walls and contorted my body in ways that would be publicly amusing. But it didn't matter how ridiculous I looked. I was finally in my zone. I was able to get all of the previous week's anxieties and stress out of my body with that single lightning-fast drum beat and searing guitar. It was beautiful. Hardcore has the ability to bring everybody together in the most chaotic mess possible. We are all there, because we don't fit in with the rest of the world. We espouse to something that is not pretty or easily digestible. It honest, down to earth and somehow brutal without allowing any violence or degradation. Simply put, its aggressive, yet poignant and fullfilling. There is nothing like it. No other kind of music makes my body and mind act the way hardcore does. It gives me more confidence to stand up to the injustices of the world. While the scene may not be as organized as any "professional" body for change, it plants the seeds necessary for a real, authentic lifestyle that challenges corporate America and its all encompassing hierarchies hell-bent on profit. Its amazing.
I really liked all the bands that night, especiallu Wait In Vain and Unrestrained, but what I wasn't ready for, was a surprise performance by My Revenge! Now if you didn't know this, the band previously announced a few months earlier that they would be breaking up and playing their last show on July 19th. That is exactly what happened, but for some reason, all members of My Revenge! somehow showed up at this show without planning anything beforehand. They wanted to play a few songs that they didn't get a chance to play the week before. What happened next was probably the shortest, yet most exciting performance I had ever seen. They played three songs from their first demo tape that came out in 2001, while two people in the crowd starting hurling mattresses around. It was great. Someon ever pulled Mike's pants down as he was about to hurl the thing at the band (Unrestrained's drummer for their upcoming tour). Spencer, the vocalist for My Revenge and avid marriage equality supporter was so funny. He talked about how "young an naive" they had been a week ago to break up, amidst their sudden hardcore stardom. He mentioned their next reunion would be when Unrestrained came back from tour. It seemed like a joke, but to My Revenge, they lived for pranking and joking, all the while trying to get an important message out. I love them.
So today I decided to go grocery shopping for the first time in my young, adult life. Yeat it souns pathetic, but it happened. I had no idea what to get, but the list ended up being tortilla chips, spinach and artichoke hummus, vegan burritos, diet pepsi, organic pasta, thai noodles and some chips. Really fucking lame. The prospect of going to work for five days straight also seems lame, but also reassuring, as I am getting so much experience in the field of non-profits and community organized. I've also started reading Upton Sinclair's "The Jungle" and have recently become acquainted with an extremely innovative band called Modern Life Is War. I want to call the hardcore punk, but they play at a very mid-paced tempo and they have no breakdowns, solo sections or choruses really. Its not predictable at all. Its ugly and mind-bending. They must surely surprise every band in this scene that can become stagnant. Good for them. Check them out at www.myspace.com/modernlifeiswar. Oh yeah, I want to see the new X-Files movie tonight. To spend more money or not to spend more money?
Sunday, July 27, 2008
More To Life Than Shopping?
I'm starting to have mixed feelings about this city. There's too many over-privileged, materialist sorority girls wasting Daddy's money. Ok, so that is a quick judgement, but the percentage of that population greatly outweighs any other. Yeah it is true. There are a lot of hot girls in Burlington, but they're all the same and none of them have a personality. I'm sure not all of them are like that, but I've had more than enough encounters, that make me cringe. Theres also too many abercrombie wearin, kswiss wearing frat boys with backwards hats and a strange liking towards daft punk and 50 cent. I try to go into everything with an open mind, but its hard to when you repeatedly find yourself feeling alienated.
Don't get me wrong. Burlington has a lot of opportunity and there are a lot of good people, but even for me those people seem out of reach. First off, I can really relate to everyone at work, but 1) I'm the only heterosexual working there, which means no flirting of any kind and 2) most of them are a great deal older than me and don't relate to a lot of the eccentric parts of my personality, i.e. starting mosh pits and watching Ren & Stimpy. Its difficulty to be yourself and stick to your principles when you're the only one like that. So being a complete individual is a double-edged sword: you like that there are parts about that are unique and maybe even awkward, but you also want to have conversations with people and relate. Here in Burlington, I'm stuck between the young materialistic, frat partying, druggie crowd and the older crowd that I share a lot of views with, but am too young for their tastes.
So this brings me to the question of the day. Where are all the hardcore kids? I guess they're not hanging around downtown after all, but thats where most of the shows happen. I never see any of them outside of 242 or the spectrum. Every once in a while, I'll see somebody sporting a Bane shirt in the distance, but they usually dissapear before I can catch up. That, or they're from Montreal and I feel to ashamed to approach someone who's speaking french. I can't believe I fell into all that hype in college about Spanish being the second most popular language in the world, because now I keep running into people from Quebec. Its weird how things turn out. My roommate Mike is a really cool, laid-back person, but we don't see eye to eye on many things. Theres nothing wrong with that, but I just wish I could talk to someone about Black Flag. I know its not fair to judge people based on their musical preferences, but the who hardcore/punk scene has been such an integral part of my life.
I never see the guys from Unrestrained walking around here. I know they're all from Burlington, so where the fuck are they? I guess they're playing in Williston on tuesday and I got directions to the venue from their guitarist, so maybe I'll finally be able to connect with somebody there. Maybe. Sometimes the hardcore scene can be just as elitist and secular as everybody else. And for me, its a little weird, because I'm not straight edge and a lot of kids take that seriously. But like I've said in the past, that lifestyle should be a personal revolution that is for yourself and your body. Its not supposed to be a trend. Than it contradicts itself. This is why I get weary of edge pride and all those kind of communities. This scene is supposed to be about tolerance and compassion for individuality. Nothing but benevolence and an open mind. Thats what punk has always been to me. Unfortunately for some, its just about having cool clothes and body piercings.
Regardless of anything I say, I'm feeling lonely. I miss some of the Rutland kids. Maybe the special thing about Rutland is that because it was such a shitty town, we had to work harder to make a difference and make the most out of our lives. That kind involvement brings more camraderie and action and less sulking in our reveries; currently something I'm doing. I just really hope that I connect with people my age real soon and have stuff to talk about, because I can't depend on work to make me feel good all the time.
Don't get me wrong. Burlington has a lot of opportunity and there are a lot of good people, but even for me those people seem out of reach. First off, I can really relate to everyone at work, but 1) I'm the only heterosexual working there, which means no flirting of any kind and 2) most of them are a great deal older than me and don't relate to a lot of the eccentric parts of my personality, i.e. starting mosh pits and watching Ren & Stimpy. Its difficulty to be yourself and stick to your principles when you're the only one like that. So being a complete individual is a double-edged sword: you like that there are parts about that are unique and maybe even awkward, but you also want to have conversations with people and relate. Here in Burlington, I'm stuck between the young materialistic, frat partying, druggie crowd and the older crowd that I share a lot of views with, but am too young for their tastes.
So this brings me to the question of the day. Where are all the hardcore kids? I guess they're not hanging around downtown after all, but thats where most of the shows happen. I never see any of them outside of 242 or the spectrum. Every once in a while, I'll see somebody sporting a Bane shirt in the distance, but they usually dissapear before I can catch up. That, or they're from Montreal and I feel to ashamed to approach someone who's speaking french. I can't believe I fell into all that hype in college about Spanish being the second most popular language in the world, because now I keep running into people from Quebec. Its weird how things turn out. My roommate Mike is a really cool, laid-back person, but we don't see eye to eye on many things. Theres nothing wrong with that, but I just wish I could talk to someone about Black Flag. I know its not fair to judge people based on their musical preferences, but the who hardcore/punk scene has been such an integral part of my life.
I never see the guys from Unrestrained walking around here. I know they're all from Burlington, so where the fuck are they? I guess they're playing in Williston on tuesday and I got directions to the venue from their guitarist, so maybe I'll finally be able to connect with somebody there. Maybe. Sometimes the hardcore scene can be just as elitist and secular as everybody else. And for me, its a little weird, because I'm not straight edge and a lot of kids take that seriously. But like I've said in the past, that lifestyle should be a personal revolution that is for yourself and your body. Its not supposed to be a trend. Than it contradicts itself. This is why I get weary of edge pride and all those kind of communities. This scene is supposed to be about tolerance and compassion for individuality. Nothing but benevolence and an open mind. Thats what punk has always been to me. Unfortunately for some, its just about having cool clothes and body piercings.
Regardless of anything I say, I'm feeling lonely. I miss some of the Rutland kids. Maybe the special thing about Rutland is that because it was such a shitty town, we had to work harder to make a difference and make the most out of our lives. That kind involvement brings more camraderie and action and less sulking in our reveries; currently something I'm doing. I just really hope that I connect with people my age real soon and have stuff to talk about, because I can't depend on work to make me feel good all the time.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
I Need Coffee
The show this past weekend in Rutland was a lot of fun, considering the weak reception locally. I put up hundreds of flyers and it was all over myspace, yet only about 20-30 people came and I'm including the bands as well. I was really glad that After The Fall came and made the best of it. I was really embarassed when they showed up. I had the feeling they were going to think the show was a total joke. Thankfully, they were really down to earth, kind and put on a great show. They seemed to understand what its like to deal with unmotivated and jaded kids these days. I can't say the same for their hometown though. Albany has the biggest fucking pile-ups at shows. People there will tackle you down for the mic. Weight of the World played acoustically. It was ok. I should practice singing more though. Troy's daughter kept dancing in front of us and distracting me. She was so cute. The Jonee Earthquake Band was great as usual. Dianna scored some really rare LP from them thats out of print. Good for her.
Mike Weins came to the show and filmed the whole thing. It later turned out that the sound from the footage was rather "un-audible," and requires a liking to the sound of paper crinkling. Thats too bad. Maybe he could just put an mp3 of one of the bands songs over the video footage? YOU'RE THE FUCKING FILMMAKER MIKE! He's also a consistent blog author that comes close to archiving his daily life. I wish I could say the same about Torches and Tragedies. Check out flumage. The ATF 7" is pretty cool. I got orange vinyl. The band on the b-side, Transitions is a lot different. They seem inspired by the like of Bane, Have Heart and Comeback Kid. A heavier version of hardcore. However, they play in a standard tuning. I also think I was the only one who knew the words to the Kid Dyanmite cover they did, which by the way was "Showoff." Their new LP, "Fort Orange," comes out sometime at the end of summer. Check them out at www.myspace.com/afterthefall518.
So last night I had the oppportunity to hang out with my friend Miriah, who used to go to Castleton. She goes to Champlain College now and lives right on Buell Street, which is only a few block from here. I hung out with her and her roommates Erica and Eliza at Dobra Te, where we sampled some exquisite asian teas and sat indian style for two hours straight in front of a small table only ten centimeters off the ground. It was a lot of fun and I nearly spilled hot water all over everyone. She then showed me her apartment, which is AMAZING. Its looks so comfy and cozy. I really don't think I ever want her to come over to Maple Street, this place is embarassig compared to her place. So at their place we made lemonade with tequila and proceeded to make atrocious animal sounds out the window to unsuspecting passerbyers.
Later on, Eliza decides to go to a house party, so the rest of us go to Radio Bean instead, to get some brews (well Erica and I anyways...Miriah is still a little baby). We see a bunch of hippies play lame ass folk and spoken word and I drink Allagash White. I almost fell asleep too. But to be perfectly honest, the fact that there is actually a night life on a monday night in Burlington, really speaks lengths at how awesome this town is. The last performance of the night was the crazy dude that looked like Van Morrison and played blues rock, with the most spastic stage moves I've ever seen. That guy was fucking crazy. He definitely thought it was still the lat sixties, meaning he was on acid. I couldn't stop laughing. He even played the guitar with his tongue!
Other news: Mike and I are planning a new film. It will be part of his senior project at Castleton. Ok thats it. No leaks.
I wish work went by quicker than the time I have back at my place. Welcome to the real life Matt.
Mike Weins came to the show and filmed the whole thing. It later turned out that the sound from the footage was rather "un-audible," and requires a liking to the sound of paper crinkling. Thats too bad. Maybe he could just put an mp3 of one of the bands songs over the video footage? YOU'RE THE FUCKING FILMMAKER MIKE! He's also a consistent blog author that comes close to archiving his daily life. I wish I could say the same about Torches and Tragedies. Check out flumage. The ATF 7" is pretty cool. I got orange vinyl. The band on the b-side, Transitions is a lot different. They seem inspired by the like of Bane, Have Heart and Comeback Kid. A heavier version of hardcore. However, they play in a standard tuning. I also think I was the only one who knew the words to the Kid Dyanmite cover they did, which by the way was "Showoff." Their new LP, "Fort Orange," comes out sometime at the end of summer. Check them out at www.myspace.com/afterthefall518.
So last night I had the oppportunity to hang out with my friend Miriah, who used to go to Castleton. She goes to Champlain College now and lives right on Buell Street, which is only a few block from here. I hung out with her and her roommates Erica and Eliza at Dobra Te, where we sampled some exquisite asian teas and sat indian style for two hours straight in front of a small table only ten centimeters off the ground. It was a lot of fun and I nearly spilled hot water all over everyone. She then showed me her apartment, which is AMAZING. Its looks so comfy and cozy. I really don't think I ever want her to come over to Maple Street, this place is embarassig compared to her place. So at their place we made lemonade with tequila and proceeded to make atrocious animal sounds out the window to unsuspecting passerbyers.
Later on, Eliza decides to go to a house party, so the rest of us go to Radio Bean instead, to get some brews (well Erica and I anyways...Miriah is still a little baby). We see a bunch of hippies play lame ass folk and spoken word and I drink Allagash White. I almost fell asleep too. But to be perfectly honest, the fact that there is actually a night life on a monday night in Burlington, really speaks lengths at how awesome this town is. The last performance of the night was the crazy dude that looked like Van Morrison and played blues rock, with the most spastic stage moves I've ever seen. That guy was fucking crazy. He definitely thought it was still the lat sixties, meaning he was on acid. I couldn't stop laughing. He even played the guitar with his tongue!
Other news: Mike and I are planning a new film. It will be part of his senior project at Castleton. Ok thats it. No leaks.
I wish work went by quicker than the time I have back at my place. Welcome to the real life Matt.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Is It Time For A Break Yet?
This past week was a whirlwind of events. For the most part, everything was family oriented and two opposite ends of the spectrum: the start of a new life and the end of another. Wednesday, I attend my Grandfather's funeral in Brandon. It was depressing and anomalous for our family. Nobody really knew what to say to each other. My Grandmother was especially offbeat, meaning she didn't seem to grieve at all. She didn't even sit up front at the funeral home. I don't think its hit her yet at all. She didn't cry once. Its quite the disarray.
So next, I have to move to Burlington. Its astonishing how it all went down, or up I should say. I had to work all day last thursday and then somehow move in after. This required the bovine character of my mother who was happy to drive a ton of my shit up just as I left work. Apparently my sister and her boyfriend Jess helped her get my mattress, desk, trunk and assortment of other awakward objects into the back of my Dad's pick-up truck. I can't believe my sister actually did something charitable for once. The move was smooth once my mom arrived with everything. My roommate Mike was really cool and helped me carry nearly everything up. So the first night was weird. I was sleeping in a place that I could call my own home and it wasn't in Rutland. So weird.
So friday, I got up early and set-up a bank account at the Opportunities Credit Union on North Aven. I get free checks, debit card and the opportunity to be a member of a financial cooperative. But thats actually boring, so I'll move on. So then I go home to Rutland (so soon!) and get ready for my cousin's wedding in Mystic, CT. The night was dull at home. I sat around, pet Sizzle and tried to finish reading 1984.
I wake up Saturday at an astonishingly reasonable time of 7:30 AM and begin to pack into the family car to hit the road. It was a shitty ride. What can I say. Who enjoys being packed into an internal-combustion vehicle with three of closest family members? To be completely honest, the party that night in Mystic Harbor was way better than the actualy wedding ceremony the following day. I got super drunk and the best part about it was the open bar. The worst part was the clam bake, so I had the innovative vegetarian meal of bread, coleslaw, carrots and tons of beer. The cruise in Mystic Harbor before the clam bake was really cool though. Great sunset on the open sea. Oh and when I mean clam bake, I didn't mean that my whole family toked up. But that would be pretty cool.
So the wedding ceremony the next day was gnarly as fuck. Actually it fucking sucked. I really didn't enjoy hearing the pastor say that marriage was created by God. As far as I knew, it was a social institution created by people and legitimized through the state. Weddings can be religious, but they weren't invented by God. Oh well, they can believe whatever they want. The ceremony took place right in front of the water in ninety degree weather. I was drenched in sweat and maybe piss. However, my own Gods relinquished my spirit with another joyess open bar full of tastey ale and gin. Later on the reception moved inside to air-conditioning, where I was treated to a portabello mushroom burger and champagne. I even got my dancing shoes on! You should've seen me!
So now I'm back in Burlington and to be completely honest, there is never a break. Now its time to go back to work and get the gays in the county fairs around the state. It should all be an interesting experience. Now lets just see if I can learn how to grocery shop in time for...
MY BELLY!
So next, I have to move to Burlington. Its astonishing how it all went down, or up I should say. I had to work all day last thursday and then somehow move in after. This required the bovine character of my mother who was happy to drive a ton of my shit up just as I left work. Apparently my sister and her boyfriend Jess helped her get my mattress, desk, trunk and assortment of other awakward objects into the back of my Dad's pick-up truck. I can't believe my sister actually did something charitable for once. The move was smooth once my mom arrived with everything. My roommate Mike was really cool and helped me carry nearly everything up. So the first night was weird. I was sleeping in a place that I could call my own home and it wasn't in Rutland. So weird.
So friday, I got up early and set-up a bank account at the Opportunities Credit Union on North Aven. I get free checks, debit card and the opportunity to be a member of a financial cooperative. But thats actually boring, so I'll move on. So then I go home to Rutland (so soon!) and get ready for my cousin's wedding in Mystic, CT. The night was dull at home. I sat around, pet Sizzle and tried to finish reading 1984.
I wake up Saturday at an astonishingly reasonable time of 7:30 AM and begin to pack into the family car to hit the road. It was a shitty ride. What can I say. Who enjoys being packed into an internal-combustion vehicle with three of closest family members? To be completely honest, the party that night in Mystic Harbor was way better than the actualy wedding ceremony the following day. I got super drunk and the best part about it was the open bar. The worst part was the clam bake, so I had the innovative vegetarian meal of bread, coleslaw, carrots and tons of beer. The cruise in Mystic Harbor before the clam bake was really cool though. Great sunset on the open sea. Oh and when I mean clam bake, I didn't mean that my whole family toked up. But that would be pretty cool.
So the wedding ceremony the next day was gnarly as fuck. Actually it fucking sucked. I really didn't enjoy hearing the pastor say that marriage was created by God. As far as I knew, it was a social institution created by people and legitimized through the state. Weddings can be religious, but they weren't invented by God. Oh well, they can believe whatever they want. The ceremony took place right in front of the water in ninety degree weather. I was drenched in sweat and maybe piss. However, my own Gods relinquished my spirit with another joyess open bar full of tastey ale and gin. Later on the reception moved inside to air-conditioning, where I was treated to a portabello mushroom burger and champagne. I even got my dancing shoes on! You should've seen me!
So now I'm back in Burlington and to be completely honest, there is never a break. Now its time to go back to work and get the gays in the county fairs around the state. It should all be an interesting experience. Now lets just see if I can learn how to grocery shop in time for...
MY BELLY!
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Strength Through Non-Violence
I've really disturbed by the amount of acquaintances whom I've suddenly learned commiserate with the death penalty. Considering the recent discovery of a 12-year old girl's body who had been murdered through a shocking network of sex rings, I can empathize with the anger and grief people must feel, but I cannot support further violence. When in the entire history of humanity has more violence brought everlasting peace and utopia? Never.
The death penalty, like organized warfare is legitimized state violence that is no better than the unsettling actions committed by the original architect of the crime. To me, it is simple; supporting the death penalty only shows that violence is the answer to solving the most shocking troubles in our society. Kiling more people and building more prisons is a stagnant solution. We are not biting at the core of the issue, which is the deep and hateful seeds of violence, misogyny, objectification, sexism and power that is so omnipresent in our cultural institutions, mainly mass media and entertainment. In a country where over two million of its citizens are in prison and others are murdered for their cimes, I think there is something fundamentally wrong with the way we interact towards each other. Death and imprisonment are not solutions, but oppression. If the death penalty is supposed to be effective, wouldn't people not be committing heinous crimes? And what about the mentally unstable? Are they recieving the care they need, so that they won't lash out violently? Probably not.
I am completely exhausted. I've spent the past week getting last minute recruits to march in Independence Day parades with VT Freedom to Marry and the past three days marching in parades and hosting informational booths in various locations. Its challenging to keep the spirit up when you've only been getting five hours of sleep. I need at least eight. Its been fun working with Sheryl though. Her husband Chris is really cool too. He plays drums and gets along with transvestites. This morning I got a call from a kid who was looking for a roommate on Maple St. just as I was preparing to march in the Brandon parade. I got the room! FUCKING FINALLY. This driving back and forth was starting drive me insane, not to mention the serious price gouging of fossil fuels in the country right now. I'm moving in next thursday apparently. Its a great place. Only a couple blocks from the Church St. marketplace and the RU12 building. Awesome.
On a sad note, my Grandfather died on friday. He had been battling serious illness for the past few months and had been hospotlaized for the past few weeks. I guess he did too much abuse to himself over the years. Too much drinking and smoking. I'm going to miss him. He was always really happy to see me when I came over to their house in Leicester. I have fond memories of the cows he used to have and how one time he took a picture of me in front of one and I just happened to place my head right in front of the cow's head so it looked like I had cow ears. Priceless. I think he wanted me to do that actually. It sure was funny. I just hope my Grandma is doing ok. I havn't talked to her since the last time I visted them in the hospital. Grandpa really hated the hospital. Too sterile for a former farmer and handyman. He really wasn't doing good the past week or so. He was saying alot crazy things and obcessing over mistakes of the past. A few times he didn't even know where he was and seemed to lose all sense of reality. I hope he died peacefully.
I've felt kind of lonely lately. Hopefully that'll change in Burlington. I need to hang out with some heterosexual girls. Everybody I've been around lately is a lesbian or married heterosexual woman. Thats not bad. I just want to flirt I guess.
The death penalty, like organized warfare is legitimized state violence that is no better than the unsettling actions committed by the original architect of the crime. To me, it is simple; supporting the death penalty only shows that violence is the answer to solving the most shocking troubles in our society. Kiling more people and building more prisons is a stagnant solution. We are not biting at the core of the issue, which is the deep and hateful seeds of violence, misogyny, objectification, sexism and power that is so omnipresent in our cultural institutions, mainly mass media and entertainment. In a country where over two million of its citizens are in prison and others are murdered for their cimes, I think there is something fundamentally wrong with the way we interact towards each other. Death and imprisonment are not solutions, but oppression. If the death penalty is supposed to be effective, wouldn't people not be committing heinous crimes? And what about the mentally unstable? Are they recieving the care they need, so that they won't lash out violently? Probably not.
I am completely exhausted. I've spent the past week getting last minute recruits to march in Independence Day parades with VT Freedom to Marry and the past three days marching in parades and hosting informational booths in various locations. Its challenging to keep the spirit up when you've only been getting five hours of sleep. I need at least eight. Its been fun working with Sheryl though. Her husband Chris is really cool too. He plays drums and gets along with transvestites. This morning I got a call from a kid who was looking for a roommate on Maple St. just as I was preparing to march in the Brandon parade. I got the room! FUCKING FINALLY. This driving back and forth was starting drive me insane, not to mention the serious price gouging of fossil fuels in the country right now. I'm moving in next thursday apparently. Its a great place. Only a couple blocks from the Church St. marketplace and the RU12 building. Awesome.
On a sad note, my Grandfather died on friday. He had been battling serious illness for the past few months and had been hospotlaized for the past few weeks. I guess he did too much abuse to himself over the years. Too much drinking and smoking. I'm going to miss him. He was always really happy to see me when I came over to their house in Leicester. I have fond memories of the cows he used to have and how one time he took a picture of me in front of one and I just happened to place my head right in front of the cow's head so it looked like I had cow ears. Priceless. I think he wanted me to do that actually. It sure was funny. I just hope my Grandma is doing ok. I havn't talked to her since the last time I visted them in the hospital. Grandpa really hated the hospital. Too sterile for a former farmer and handyman. He really wasn't doing good the past week or so. He was saying alot crazy things and obcessing over mistakes of the past. A few times he didn't even know where he was and seemed to lose all sense of reality. I hope he died peacefully.
I've felt kind of lonely lately. Hopefully that'll change in Burlington. I need to hang out with some heterosexual girls. Everybody I've been around lately is a lesbian or married heterosexual woman. Thats not bad. I just want to flirt I guess.
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