Monday, October 27, 2008

You know what grinds my gears?


Seriously? UGGS? They're just asking to be called ugly, which is exactly what they are. Now I have absolutely no fashion sense whatsoever (nor could I give a flying fuck), but these shoes make people look like douche bags. I mean why would any girl want to have ewolk feet or chocolate brown poop logs on their legs? They look retarded. I don't care how comfortable or or warm they might be on a chilly evening on the church street marketplace: you look like a tool.
So first off girls, uggs are a huge turn-off. I don't care how intelligent, genuinely nice or charismatic you might be, because the footwear ruins what's left of you. And by the way, I'm not sure if these shoes were designed with the intention of being female footwear (I have not seen a single male wear uggs yet), but I'm willing to at least see what a guy looks like wearing them. Maybe you'll look like a viking, who knows?
I hate to generalize, but I have yet to see one girl who is NOT a stuck-up, materialistic, over-privileged, jock-dating poopstain who is wearing these vulgar statements of "cool." I don't know where these shoes came from all of a sudden, but they're sprouting up everywhere like weeds and we've got to eradicate the virus. So do your part and drop mustard on every pair of uggs you see.
Ok, so people may think I'm crazy because I'm freaking out over some lame trend, but Uggs have gone too far. They're turning a generation of stagnated, robotic clones into a generation that's even duller. Don't let the fashion fool you! Stop dating girls that wear Uggs!

(the contents of this blog are intended to be comical and if you're offended, than you probably own Uggs).

3 comments:

flumer said...

thats really funny!

my word verification is hoedook

weird

Matthew Kimball said...

oh you're just sucking up to me!

a hoedook is a garden device, right?

ha.

Cherie said...

I think it's funny that anybody would want to wear boots that are called "Uggs." They are called Uggs for a REASON.